BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER...

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house...

A friend of mine shared this and I am certain that many of you may have seen it already.  Still it is quite funny, and before anyone says anything...no I don't think divorce is a funny thing.  Yes, it affects everyone involved and definitely it is much more difficult when kids are involved, but if you have a sense of humor you most definitely would appreciate this.

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and 

 even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping Too bad that doesn’t work.

 I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and; felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica,but when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

Divorce is not funny, but sometimes like everything else people find ways to see the humor in it.  For instance, I read this and am still smiling.

Listening one day to my friend speak of the painful DIVORCE that he and his wife are going through and the custody battle over the children. I told him, "That must be one of the hardest decisions to make. My wife and I will never have that problem."

"Why is that?" he asked.

"Because we will never get divorced."

"How do you know?"

"Because neither one of us wants custody of the kids."

I have learnt that you have to see the humor in just about everything if you want to make it in this life. "A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life."

My wife and I have been married for MANY years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never

~Nadiya~

Is He Husband Material?....

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to....

Every so often you come across either a friend, family member, stranger or even oneself distraught over their personal life.  This time it was a friend and he was telling me about how his wife was acting and treating him strange lately.  The two had begun the process of getting divorced when she suddenly had a change in attitude and promised she would change. Sadly, that promise lasted only a couple of weeks.

It so happens I was also reading an article about the same topic and it struck me as too much of a coincidence so here it is....if you relate to this maybe you can find some consolation that you are not the only one and that many are going through similar rough times.  Not helpful, but a fact of life.

According to the article, for those who are single and are looking to find that someone special here is what you should be looking for.  What makes a man husband material are emotional characteristics, including stability, reliability, and honesty. These are the hallmarks of what makes a man a good long-term partner according to relationship expert Dr. Seth Meyers.

In addition, and perhaps “the most surprising factor that is important is empathy, or the ability to be sensitive and understand how the other person feels.”  “When problems develop, as they inevitably will, having a man in your life who listens and cares about your feelings is one factor that helps to solidify mutual respect and intimacy.”

Tips for a good relationship:

1.You feel as good about him when you’re not with him as you do when you are with him

2. He’s never made you cry and you’re confident he never will. (There’s a saying that goes something like this: No boy/man is worth crying over and the one who is will never make you.)

3. He shows a genuine interest in the things that are important to you.

4.He fights fair.

5.He holds your hair back if/when you’re sick.

6.If your child were to come out EXACTLY like him, you’d be thrilled.

As for my own advice, which I shared with my friend, you need to learn to love yourself first. Learning to love yourself and finding self-fulfillment while single is crucial because you cannot expect a mate to fill those voids for you. Depending on a partner to meet those needs will never work and you’ll remain emotionally needy, not to mention more likely to put up with bad behavior just to be with someone.

If you feel an issue is at-hand that could be a deal breaker (kids or no kids?), it’s best to address it right away. “When there are deal breakers, you need to put them on the table and talk about them. If you try to hide them, they’ll turn up anyway, eventually, and probably destroy your relationship—or at least make you miserable. Get them out in the open and see if you can work something out!  Hey, maybe he can handle having just one kid! You never know until you talk.

I once knew someone who encouraged me to always be independent, self sufficient and to first make me happy then to think of making others happy.  Sometimes his philosophy was very stern for my liking, but as the years went by I came to realize that yes, first one must take care of ones own needs and wants before being able to please others.  Once you are confident with you then you are much more capable of dealing with whatever situation life presents.  Not always easy, but always doable.

Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are...

 

until next time...