Summer 2016 Chicago And Some...

People change for two reasons.  Their minds have been open or their

 hearts have been broken.  If there is no struggle, there is no progress...

One of the things we look froward to every week is to Skype with Michelle and our 

two granddaughters. Unfortunately, we have not been able to do so in close to 3 weeks.

 Different schedules and of course being in a different time zone does not help. 

We did Skype today unfortunately I was not able to participate much in the

 conversation.  It was all Norwegian today. Always next time.

 Michelle in Norway is 7 hours ahead of us here in Chicago. At least when we

 go back to Florida it will still be a different time zone but somehow 6

 hours is much better than 7.  That one hour makes a big difference.

Going through some of my pictures taken this summer I smile. I smile because

 we did quite a few interesting things. Arvid and I are just spur of the moment 

kind of people and we made decisions faster Than anyone I know.   

I remember when we decided to buy a condo in Chicago for the second time.  We had 

sold our first one in 2013 due to medical issues Arvid, Brutus and I developed. 

 At that time I was extremely sad about selling, but for me because of Brutus

 mostly; I thought it was the best decision.  Of course Arvid and I

 also needed to be close to doctors a lot from that point on.

We missed Chicago for that one year 2014 we had no place here.  One night in Florida we

 had just come back from listening to the Blues.  It was late but neither Arvid, Brutus nor 

I were tired.  We chatted and I went to brush Brutus.  Arvid said he had to check

 something on his laptop.  Strange because he would never open up his laptop

 at this hour, but I was happy with Brutus so did not think much of it. 

 In about a half hour Arvid came and said, "I found our condo."

Long story short, that is how we ended up with condo number 2 in Chicago. 

Same building and same phone number.  Decision made we visited Chicago that

 weekend and bought the condo.  Now I want to go home.  I love this city, 

but something changed in me.  This was not a good year and I don't 

think I will miss it when we leave this time.  Strange. But true. 

Does not mean it's always the right decision, but it has never stopped us from doing

 anything we want.  I am still "working" at a change in my life.  I still don't have

 any definite ideas as to what that may be, but the fact that I'm trying tells me that 

it will be OK one day. Sniff, Arvid and I are going home to Brutus and Shadow

 in just a few days.  Sunny Florida here we come.  Nowhere like home.

Fall is definitely here already.  I see it.  I feel it and I am really liking the cooler

 temperatures and the change in colors of the leaves.  What a beautiful time of the year.

To all a very good day.  You know they say you can't change the direction of the wind, 

but you can adjust the sails to reach your destination.  Happy Thursday to all.

Somehow we just have to hold it together.  Somehow when you have adversity

it brings along special moments in life.  Hopefully this can be one of them...

~Nadiya~

Loving You...Missing You.. May 17th Birthday Boy

Between now and then till I see you again I'll be loving you.  Love me too...

Life continues for all of us.  Loved ones die, and new ones are born.  It's the circle of life,
 and if you happen to be in the "happy" circle then please enjoy it for if things should
change and you happen to find yourself in the not so "good circle,"then friends you
 will know how I feel and what I am experiencing.  Not good.

Many of you may be getting a little fed up of hearing how much I miss Brutus, 
and how sad it is for me right now.  What can I say?  It is how it is, and until then I will be
grieving for my baby.  We had him for 9 years.  It does not go away just like that.
The relationship Arvid and I had with Brutus was very special, and because
of that it is so very difficult for me to understand why our Brutus died.

Sadness is what I am familiar with these days.  Add Shadow into the mix who can
 blame me. Where there was once laughter, now tears are a constant companion.  And yes,
Sniffer makes us happy.  There was never a time you would see me and not see me
 smile.  Smiling was my trademark.  That's what everyone tells me.

Today it is still there but not as often and sometimes forced.  On the other hand,
 I am sure one day it will be part of me again.  I want it back very much.  

As of today, I still cannot bring myself to say goodbye to Brutus.  Goodbyes are so
FINAL!  I don't think I will ever be able to do it.  More like until we meet again. For
Shadow all I can think is that he is not screaming anymore.  His agony is over.
As far as I go, I can't help but relive his last moments every so often.

  Letting go for me right now is not happening, and I'm not saying this is good.  I am
 still a work in progress, but then who isn't?  And that is always good I'm told.  Room to grow.

Today our Brutus would have turned 10 years old.  Our Shadow would be one year today.
Neither of them are here with us.  Sniffer is here and life goes on.  It waits for no one.

Brutus, Happy Birthday.  I still have your balloons.  The birthday hat and your candles.
Mama misses you everyday, and no matter how much I love Sniffer, you are my baby, and
 forever I will miss you and love you.  You took my heart with you and part of it will forever
 belong to you.  My Brutus.  I loved you from the moment I saw you and have not stopped.

Shadow.  Mama loved you.  You came to us at a very difficult time.  It was difficult
for both your dada and I, but you were special to us.  You taught us that we could open our
 hearts again to another kitty.  You were with us for less than 4 months.  Shadow how I grief
for you.  I wish I could have saved you and kept you from harms way.  I see your picture
 on my night table and I see trust in your eyes.  It breaks my heart every night to see those eyes.

  I love you Shadow and I hope you found Brutus, Anna's Buddy and mama's 5 other kitties.
 Hope you are all playing together, and that Brutus' paw does not hurt him anymore.
Please take care of each other, and know I miss you everyday.  Happy
 birthday Brutus and Shadow.  Mama loves you and always will.

I may be a work in progress, but everyday I get a little bit wiser,
 a little bit better and a little bit stronger...

~Nadiya~