Apr 30, 2016

Here Is To A Good Day..

Some of life's lessons are learned at the worse times, never let
 the world change your smile let your smile change the world...

Thursday was  take your daughter to work day.  Of course Lilly Vade was up bright and 
early in the morning all dressed to go to work with her daddy. Excited and happy as always.

Her dad works in Washington, DC and of course in his job one needs a VERY high
security clearance.  For the fun of it all Lilly Vade was scanned and "checked" for whatever
it is that should not be on a person.  She did the same last year so she is a pro.

 She had a blast dressing up in SWAT uniform, having her face painted and enjoying
the attention. I miss this little girl and her tight hugs very much.  She is LOVE.

Arvid and I had a quiet Friday.  We ended going for a walk to the beach.  Listening to music.
Of course enjoying Pina Coladas and meeting up with friends from the building..
As far as Fridays go this one was relaxing, enjoyable and very delicious.

Saturday is looking to be another gorgeous day here in the Sunshine State.  The boats are
passing by all the time.  Sniffer is sound asleep.  Arvid relaxing watching his soccer games.

 I have had lots of time to catch up with some book keeping.   Yes a relaxing and productive
day so far.  Hope to go to the movies tonight so will see how Arvid feels about it.

To all a very good Saturday.  Remember, take it one day at a time and enjoy the journey.

One day at a time..this is enough.  Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone;
and do not be troubled over the future, for it has not yet come.  Live in the present
 and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.  Happiness is a journey... 


Apr 29, 2016

One Of Those days...

Don't start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday.  Every morning wake up and 
live like it was your last day here on earth.  Tomorrow is not promised to any of us...

Not sure how to explain grief, but one minute you're having a pretty OK moment, 
next thing you know, it changes.  Without warning.  This is what's happening right now. 

 Maybe the sound of the dryer.  Maybe the fact that I just saw Sniff play with Shadow's 
headless mouse or maybe the fact that he's really never far from my thoughts.  Whatever 
the reason is, I'm right now grieving for this little Kitty who on May 17th would have 
been one year old.  Same day as Brutus.  Right now I am really, really very sad.

On a better note, Sniff finally decided to play with the mouse.  Play means he kinda 
kicked it around a few times before getting bored and decided to sleep with it.

It's already Friday.  The days are going by so very fast.  Sniff is becoming very attached
 to us and of course we to him.  Arvid and I love Sniff.  He is a good kitty for us.  

We are grateful to have him to share our lives with.  No matter all the sadness there is 
always something good to be grateful for.  Today among many other things we are grateful
 for Sniff.  My heart is still heartbroken over my Brutus and Shadow, but life is good,
 and we have to make everyday count and make the most of each day.

Wishing everyone a very good day.  Remember our lives do
not get better by chance.  It gets better by change.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet some oneagain for the first time?...


Apr 28, 2016

Another Day....

Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters.
The bad news is time flies.  The good news is that you are the pilot...

The days, the weeks, the months, are just flying by so very fast.  As we all know time 
stops for no one.  Does not matter who you are.  What you have or who you know. Time
 stops for no one.  Soon Arvid, Sniffer and I will be going to Chicago for the summer. 

 Chicago is definitely my favorite city as I have mentioned so many times before, but I'm 
not exactly sure if I am excited or not.  Arvid is very excited and talks about going
 there everyday.  For me Chicago is Arvid, Brutus and I and not taking him 
with us is just freaking me out. In my mind home is with Brutus.

That's probably why I refuse to think much about it.  From Chicago we will take off 
to Norway.  Usually I stress over Brutus because of how his paw was.  Always hurties. 
 Now Sniffer is healthy.  I hope always.  Last year we went to Norway for 28 days.
   This year we have no Brutus and we will only be there for 18 days.

I try to stay busy all the time because I still find that when I'm not doing something 
my mind wanders even more.  Yesterday Arvd was out and I had to take the clothes out
 from the dryer.  I could not.  I still can't touch the dryer with out wanting to scream. 
 Finally I opened it after half an hour and let it stay open for an hour until it was 
cooler.  It's just so hot in there.  So hot.  I don't want to go there.  I can't.

Today is 175 days without Brutus.  175 day I have not seen him.  Held him.  
Hugged him.  Kissed him.  175 day that I have been missing my baby,
 and as Arvid bluntly puts it, "he's never coming back."

Today is also 54 days since my little shadow died.  How crazy life is.  Soon Sniff would have 
been with us for 2 months.  He's brought laughter back into our world.  I'm training him
to have his leash on for when we travel.  He of course hates it, but a little everyday, and I'm
 sure he will be good.  Today was his first try.  He has a lot to learn. I guess I can say the
 same about me.  I have a lot to learn about life.  A lot. It's a learning game everyday.

Good morning everyone.  Just a reminder to take time and appreciate what's
 right in front of you.  Take time to be grateful.  I am doing the same.  Today, everyday.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
Dear God, if I can't have what I want, let me want what I have...


Apr 27, 2016

Thought For Today...

Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy...

This is how I am feeling right now.  
This is who occupies my thoughts right now.

Yes, I am having a good day, but my heart is missing my Brutus.  Hope your day is a
 good one all.  Remember life offers us all a second chance.  It's called tomorrow.

Life goes on whether you choose to move on and take a chance in the unknown.
Or stay behind, locked in the past, thinking of what could have been...


Apr 26, 2016

Scenic Days....

The most important thing to do if you find yourself in a hole is to stop digging.
It's easy to get wrapped up in sharing everyday life with a partner.
 It's fun to get lost in love and romance. It's the best. But holding on 
to yourself while doing that is the most important thing..

Outings to Miami are always beautiful.  You see everything you never thought
 you would and some.  Miami is just a short drive from our home in Fort Lauderdale.

The Greater Fort Lauderdale area contains more than 300 miles of canals that weave 
through the area. About 165 miles run through Fort Lauderdale itself, giving it the 
nickname found on the city seal, “Venice of America.” The canals sport their own
 South Florida flair with a mix of both romance and edginess and are a part 
of the urban sprawl, visible from train tracks and the skyscrapers.

Some of our favorites places are only a few steps away.

I do believe that some of the best views we have are right from our own home.
But definitely the best views are the ones I share with Arvid.  The ones we shared with Brutus,
 and for a short time Lil Shadow.  And  of course, now the ones Arvid, Sniffer and I share together.

I have a good life.  Can't deny it, but my heart is still missing my baby.  Everyday

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, 
if one only remembers to turn on the light ..


Apr 25, 2016


Someday I will be able to look back on today and be grateful for being strong,
but today I'm just trying to keep my strength up and make it to tomorrow...

What does your name mean?  I'm not saying I believe this is the case, but what caught 
my attention was the fact that Arvid, Brutus and Sniffer's name has the same description.

My name had it's entire own meaning and when I read it to Arvid he said it suited me well.

Shadow's was also suitably for him.  Especially  the part of his uncontrollable nature 
and the fact that he stood out from the crowd.  Shadow was Fearless.  I miss that lil one's
 hyperness and his non stop motion.  He just loved life and was not afraid to show it. 

Monday morning already.  New week.  New possibilities and always something to
be grateful for.  As always I see the new day filled with possibilities and look forward to 
getting lots done and to making sure that I stay focused on the positive and good things in life.

To all a very good day.  I have to say, I know everything happens for a reason,
 but sometimes I wish I knew what that reason was.  Don't we all wish we knew.

When life knocks you down try to land on your back. 
 Because if you can look up you can get up...


Apr 23, 2016

Birthday Boys...

Birthdays are good for your health.  Studies show 
that those who have more birthdays live longer...

Arvid, Sniffer and I all have birthdays in April.  Mine came and went already.
Both Arvid and Sniffer celebrate birthdays tomorrow.  Little Sniff turns one year, and 
Arvid just a few more than Sniff.  Yes, both boys at home have the same birth dates.

Nothing big planned.  Sniff will be having a few extra treats and maybe an extra portion
 of his soft foodies.  He loves soft foodies way too much.  Also some extra brushing
 and playtime.  For Sniff Sniff this is heaven.  He can play all day long.

As for Arvid, I treated him to dinner at our favorite place in Miami Beach.  Monty's.
Not a fancy place, but it has a great seafood bar, awesome views and as he said it's just our 
place.  Somethings and some places are best to go on our own and this is one of them.

Arvid and I have gone through quite some so trying times in our years together, but 
nothing compares to what we have gone through since Brutus and Shadow died. I am still
 stuck in my grief period.  It has taken a toll on me and I am trying very much to move on.

Good morning world.  Today is going to be a good day.  It is after all April 23rd.
  Birthday for Sniffer and Arvid.  Date night at the Dine -In-Theater for us.

Arvid Hvidsten, I loved you yesterday, love you still, always have, 
always will.  I love you.  I am at rest with you.  I have come home. 
Together we had Brutus, Shadow and now Sniff...


Apr 22, 2016

Life Goes On...

Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you.
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year...

Arvid and I have been talking about taking Sniff Sniff for a drive for a long time. 
Yesterday we finally found the time to do so. We had planned to take him 
right after breakfast, but Sniff had fallen asleep on the sunbed so I
 decided to let him sleep, and do it in the afternoon. 

Afternoon came and once again he was on the sunbed. He does not go there in 
his own.  I carry him to it, but now he stays there rather than jump off like 
he usually did.  We're happy about that.  It's not empty all the time

Sniff is not easy. He will be needing quite a few of these rides before he will be 
better prepared for the plane trip to Chicago.  Brutus as everyone knows was a traveler. 
 We had no problems jetting him around from place to place. He was well behaved,
 and never made a sound. How I miss that kitty. How I miss my Brutus.

When Brutus died we were starting to wonder how Shadow would do on a plane trip.
  Shadow was fearless, but also restless. Not sure if he would have been easy on a 7 hour flight.
 I want to think that he would have been, but now of course we will never know.

What we do know is that Sniff will not be easy.  On the ride yesterday he was restless.
 He turned and turned all over in the carrier.  At some point he was under the padding, he cried 
and he did some more tumbling around in the carrier.  He was not easy to get into
 the carrier.  He cried again. He fought and he just won't get in.  It was a struggle

This being the case we will have to take him on several more rides to get him accustomed
 to being in the carrier.  Yesterday's trip was short. Just a 45 minute ride.  We cruised 
the beach area.  Always enjoyable and educational.  Lots of new developments
 coming along on the beach area.  Being Realtors means also being informed.

Arvid wants to go and listen to music tonight.  Not sure I am in the mood, but I will try
to overcome this sadness that has taken over this last two weeks. It comes and goes
 and I try to fight it but I'm not winning.  This grief is right now stronger than I am.

 I'm just sad and I know I have to snap out of it. I really know I can't go in this way. 
I just don't seem to know how to do it right now. Weekend is already on us. As always
 Arvid is making plans and I also have a few of y own.  Let's see what happens.

Here is South Florida the weather is beautiful. Breezy. Warm with "cooler" 
temperatures in the mornings. Perfect.  Mornings as you know is my favorite 
time of the day. Coffee.  Quiet.  Boats.  Waterways and Sniffer. 

Yes I love my mornings and yes, I am missing my mornings, my evenings, 
my nights my every moment with my Brutus.  Sniffer is a good
happy kitty and we are grateful to have him in our lives.

It's Friday.  Time for me to cheer up and make room for some fun and outings with Arvid.  
Currently it looks like rain is coming, but you never know with the weather here.  To all of us 
a little bit of advise do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.

Dream as if you will live forever; Live as if you will die today.  The past is behind,
 learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it...


Apr 21, 2016


Life is like a camera, focus on what's important, capture the good times, 
develop from the negatives, and if things don't work out, take another shot...

As I mentioned before, I love going to the movies.  A must on my list is this one called 
Keanu.  The main character is a kitty cat.  Now how can I NOT go and see it?

Everyone who knows me, knows that there is nothing I like better than taking
 pictures.  No matter where we go, what we do when I come home I have
 hundreds of pictures in my phone.  I'm talking just for a little outing.  

When we go on vacation, I probably have thousands of pictures.  Yes, more than I need, 
but I enjoy doing it and so what if I have to delete most of them later on?  Keeps me 
happy, occupied and who know maybe one day I might get that perfect one.

I see possibilities and potential in just about everything.  I love taking pictures of food.
Drinks.  Bottles any and everything.  Arvid sometimes thinks I'm strange.  Does
 not bother me one bit.  I am who I am and and I'm very happy with me.

I have thousands and thousands of pictures of my Brutus.  For that I am happy. 
 Now it's all I have left.  Pictures and memories of my baby.  I miss his so much.  

As for Shadow, I also have quite a lot of pictures even though we had him for less 
than 4 months.  Yesterday and today i am having flashbacks.  I hear a little
kitty struggling to get out, and I could not help my little Shadow.

Sniffer is now learning what it is like to live with a camera lover.

Today i learnt something new.  For those of you using Snapchat this is probably 
old news, but my niece Reshma always keeps me updated.  I asked her if it was possible 
to post an image/picture on Snapchat that was taken let's say a day ago.  

Well what you know she said it was possible.  Seems like there is another App that uploads
 pictures to Snapchat whenever one wishes.  One can then do whatever fixing to the 
picture before posting it on Snapchat.  Pretty interesting,  Now everything can
 be altered.  I guess I'm a little slow with all this "cool" technology. She's 
still trying to teach me a few other things, but I'm a slow learner.

Hope your day has been good.  I have had better days and for sure worse.
Remember if you have nothing in life, but a good friend (Anna), then you're rich.

The past is a place of reference, not residence...


Apr 20, 2016

Swap Shop Days...

Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again.  
Skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts.
To live a life fulfilled reflect on the things you have with gratitude...

The Fort Lauderdale Swap Shop is a 14-screen drive-in-theater in Lauderhill, Florida,
USA, that doubles as the largest drive-in and largest daily flea market in the world. 

Local broadcasting advertising states it to be "Florida's second-biggest tourist attraction". 
The largest tourist attraction is supposedly Walt Disney World. The Swap 
Shop entertains roughly 12 million people who visit each year.

Arvid and I are frequent Swap Shop customers.  As I have mentioned many times before
I go for the fruit.  Arvid goes for miscellaneous things.  This time is was to have a
 frame made for one of our paintings.  Arvid is usually not a man to trust many, 
but he knows a few key people at the Swap Shop and that's why he goes there.

There is something for everyone.  If you want handbags, luggage, clothing, shoes, 
food, gadgets you name it the Swap Shop has it.  Now if you ask me about the quality of 
such items, then I will have to say that as far as I am concerned it's questionable.  The
handbags are imitation of every name brand known to man and some not known.

When i was much younger, and first was introduced to the "Swap Shop" I went "crazy." 
 At first I was unable to distinguish the fake from the not fake, but I learnt fast.
Even so, there are many things that are fairly unique to the swap Shop. 

 For a special occasion they are fine, but I'm not sure any of the clothes, shoes, luggage
 or any of their other items will last long.  Either way it's an OK place to visit. I definitely
 recommend the fruit market.  If you're like me, and like tropical fruit.  This is the place.

Yesterday Sniffer finally ventured onto the sunbed.  Of course he did not go there by himself.  

I put him on it.  Usually he would jump right off, but this time he was there for about 10
 minutes before jumping down.  When Brutus died it broke my heart to see it empty. 

 Shadow came along and it took him one month before he used it.  Then it became his favorite 
spot.  Now that Shadow also died it breaks my heart to see the sunbed empty every day.  
Shadow and Brutus loved it.  I hope one day Sniffer will also enjoy it.  How I miss my Brutus 
no one will understand.  I miss my 2 kitties, but Brutus I ache so much for.

Good morning everyone.  May today be better for all of us than yesterday was.
Remember worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles.  It takes away today's peace.

The rain falls because the sky can no longer handle it's weight.
Just like the tears fall because the heart can no longer handle the pain...


Apr 19, 2016

About The Movies...

The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in 
ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you
 the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues...

Movies.  One of my favorite pass times of all times.  Transports you into a world where
 everything is possible.  Yes, it's not reality, but then when I go to the movies my
 intention is to forget, and to go into this world where everything is rosy.

Arvid enjoys them as well.  Maybe more now than he did a few years ago, but maybe not as
 much as I do.  He would much rather watch TV at home.  Last Sunday as he watched TV,
 I decided to go to the movies.  Yes, I have no problems doing things on my own.

  In fact I actually do not mind at all.  I have  good time and I don't have to worry if he
 is bored or not.  I just focus on me and enjoying what I am doing. 

 On Sunday I went to see The Jungle Book.  Just too cute it was.  Max and Gabby,
 2 of my nephews grew up watching Mowgli from The Jungle Book.  They though they were 
Mowgli.  Not only because it had memories, but the fact is that I love animated movies. 

 Arvid has also shown a liking to them.  I remember when he, Reshma and I watched Frozen.
  Arvid was as caught up as we were.  When we saw Madagascar with Danielle in Chicago 
he also loved it.  Just a few days ago he told me that the new Kung Fu Panda
 movie will be coming out.  Said, "we have to go see it."  It's animated. 

These movies are cute, no swearing and for some reason they pull at your heart strings. 
It's one of the best times I have.  Going to the movies.  I told Arvid that I really 
enjoyed this on Sunday and that I may do it every so often while he watches 
TV, then suddenly he said to me, "you know we have to go and see The Boss."
  It's a new movie that will be released soon.  We like Melissa Mccarthy. 

Since we have the Dine-In-Movie theater, going to the movies is twice the fun.
We have a choice of recliner chairs, which is our favorite.  We also have the choice of the
 rocking chair.  Either one is good for me because once I go to the movies I relax and 
put all thoughts (try) of the not so pleasant far away.  Everyone is allowed at
 least 2 hours to "pretend" that everything is good.  We all deserve that.

To all a very good day.  We have had a very good weekend.  I have had many good moments, 
and unfortunately some not so good ones.  It comes in wave this thing called grief. As 
always when I feel the need to talk there is Anna.  She listens and she never judges.  She's a
 good friend and I know that without here right now I would be in an even more bad place.

Sniffer is good.  Keeps me smiling and happy.  I think of Shadow and I'm heartbroken.
At the end of the day it's my Brutus I am missing more than anything else.  I can't believe
 that I have not held him in 166 days.  Brutus it's been too long.  Too long.

To all a very good day.  May today be better than yesterday and may the sun always
 shine upon you.  You know what they say, when everything gets answered, it's fake.

I have a theory that movies operate on the level of dreams, 
where you dream yourself.   Fairy tales only happen in movies....


Apr 17, 2016

A Good Life...

A good life is when you smile often, dream big,
laugh a lot and realize how blessed you are for what you have...

Sunset at the beach, also one of the most beautiful sights of the day.

Eleuthera, Bahamas was our second home for a few years.  Beautiful place.
We made memories that will last a lifetime.  Arvid, Brutus and I.

The view from our apartment at The Las Olas Grand.  The place Brutus first called home
 with us.  Brutus loved his view.  He loved watching the boats all day long.  Brutus was a 
pampered kitty.  The neighbors called him the baby.  The baby he was and always will be for me.

Looking back, I see we have had many good years with Brutus.  May not have
 been exactly as many as we wanted, but we were fortunate to have had him for 9.  Nine
 of the best years in our lives.  Brutus is dead, but the memories we have of him lives
 of forever.  This being said, I would give anything to have him back by our side.  

Remember all, live a good life.  For in the end it's not the years in a life it's the life in 
the years.  We may not have all we want, but we sure have lots to be grateful for.

Yes, no matter what, we have a good life, but right now I am also a little tired.
Tired of having people all the time "visiting"  Between the months of February, and
March we are constantly juggling our time between different friends and family
visiting.  It's nice, but also too much.  I told Arvid that next year March
 we will go away somewhere and get away from everyone.

 We are not like everyone else.We wait for us to be in Chicago.
There we are alone. I am not having the best of days lately. I guess it "shows."
 My heart aches for Brutus.  It's been too long.  Too long without him

A good life is a collection of happy moments.  The best and most beautiful things in 
the world cannot be seen or even touched.  The must be felt by the heart....