Nov 4, 2023

Saturday November 4th~

Forgetting is difficult.  Remembering is worse...

 Eight years ago today Arvid and I made the decision to have
 Brutus' left leg amputated.  Eight years ago today was the last time I
 help our Brutus at home.  We took him to the vet on November 5th. 
 I was scared to leave him, after all he was my baby.  

As we were leaving I was asked to sign a waiver stating I will
 not hold anyone responsible should something happen during or after 
surgery.  I looked at the technician and I said to he, "he's not going
 to die is he?"  Eight years ago she looked me back in the eye and 
said, "of course not.  It's just routine."  Eight years ago our Brutus 
never made it back home and my heart has never healed completely.
Eight years ago my heart shattered, and parts of it still is.

I don't live in the past, but sometimes my hear wanders
 there and there is nothing I can do.  Life doesn't allow us
 to go back and fix what we have done wrong in the past,
 but it does allow us to live each day better than our last

Arvid and I shared a home with Brutus in Eleuthera, Bahamas 
for a few years.  It was also a beautiful time in our lives,
 and Brutus being there made it even more special.

We had a little house on the beach.  It was and still is 
called The Lil' Red House.  So many memories
 and in them all Brutus was there with us.

You can close your eyes to the things
 you don't want to see, but you can't close your 
heart to the things you don't want to feel...