Jul 10, 2012

?? Thinking....

Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach...

Being born a Hindu a few things I was kinda sure of.  One was that when you died you were cremated and then your ashes were sprinkled into the sea or maybe someplace you choose.  I still believe this.  I do believe that when I die I want to be cremated.  To me it's clean and it's.... just how it is clean.  More than a hygienic method of disposing of the dead, cremation enabled lovers and comrades to be mingled together for eternity.

I know I still believe this, but when we go to Norway, we always go to the cemetery to visit Arvid's dad.  Yesterday we took our first trip to the cemetery.  There I am always amazed about one thing...it is so peaceful.  All of my grandparents from both sides are dead.  My dad's side of the family was cremated.  I never went to "visit" them any place special.

Both of my mom's parents were buried.  As a very young girl, I may have visited my moms fathers grave the memory is not clear.  When my grandmother died I was at the funeral in Canada and at the burial site.  Have not been to visit her since..this makes me sad right now.  Fortunately, my sister has been back and  a few weeks ago mom and dad were there.

When I found out they were going the first thing I said was, "please say hi to Ma and tell her I love her."  What I am getting at is that even though I want to be cremated, I do find comfort in knowing I can go to a place and "visit" the ones I loved who are no longer here on this earth.

My first husband was cremated.  He was Irish and that was his wish.  He was from Rhode Island and wanted his ashes to be sprinkled into the ocean.  That we did.  He also loved Puerto Rico and I also took some of his ashes with me and together with my family we rented a boat and went out into  the ocean and sprinkled his ashes.  He was free as a bird and wanted to remain that way.

Sometimes I have this little nagging doubt.  Is it better to be cremated and have your ashes sprinkled all over the place and never have a special someplace to "visit" that special someone no longer here with us?  All I know is that when I go to Norway and we visit Arvid's dad, many thought go through me and I am left doubting what I believe in.
Have a good day everyone.

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts; you're not a human being unless you have doubts and fears...