Jan 13, 2013

Angry, Scared and Hurting...

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear..

Had you asked me a few weeks ago what it is that I feared, without hesitation I would have said, "not much."
Ask me this question now and I think I will burst in tears.
Here I am always thinking that I can handle just about anything, but then I find out that Brutus is battling some very nasty bacterias, and that his outcome is not certain; then my world collapses.

I can't do anything, but take him to get his treatments and watch as he battles pain.
Yes, I am scared.  I am scared that we could lose Brutus.
I am scared he will die, and we can't do a damm thing for him.
I also know that right now I am pretty emotional and thinking mainly with my heart and not my brain.

Can't help it when it comes to Brutus and his not being well, I admit to being an emotional wreck.
Tomorrow is another day.
For now I just want to cry.  Tomorrow I will come up with ways we will fight this, but now my baby is hurting and his future is uncertain.

Yes!  I am very scared.  Arvid and I feel helpless right now.
Tomorrow I will be stronger.  I will decide if amputating Brutus is the best way to go.
Today, I am a wreck.

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it...