Feb 5, 2018

February 5th 2018 ~

Not a day goes by and I don't think of you. 
 How different life is without you.  If you want to know where your 
heart is, look where your mind goes when it wanders...

I'm not keeping count, but the 5th of every month is very

difficult for me.  On the 5th of every month it's another month Brutus
 and Shadow died, but who is keeping count of that?  
The agonizing pain of Brutus' death is less.  

That is true, but there are days it hits me as if it was just yesterday
 we held him as he looked at us and closed his eyes forever.  

That image will never leave me.  I'm sure he was asking us why?  
Why couldn't we save him and bring him back home.  It's not 
as if I don't ask myself the same question time after time.
  As for Shadow, I try to block that from my memory. 

Many may say that enough is enough, but not everyone is in my shoes.  
Brutus was my baby.  Together with Arvid our life was complete.
  So the fact that it is taking me so long to "move on" as many
 will say just tells how deeply Brutus' death has affected me.

I do not live in the past.  I do not sit around all day looking at pictures and 
getting depressed.  I do not cry all day.  It's just a part of me is missing
 and every time I have a moment to myself my mind wanders.  
Thankfully with the running of a hotel there is not often that
 much time to let my mind go places it shouldn't.

Though a piece of my heart is missing, we have another furry 
boy at home and he is definitely leaving paw prints all
 over us.  Yes our little Sniff is just a happy boy.  

Watching him grow into his own little mischievous self is fun
 and always makes us laugh.  Now home is where Sniff is and we are home.

Life is what it is.  We may not have everything we want,
but we have everything we need, and for that I will always be grateful.

To our Brutus and Shadow. Mama misses you both so very much.
 Brutus you took my heart and I know Sniff will fill our lives, but for
 me you will forever be my baby.  How I miss you Brutus.

The journey of life is so much sweeter when travelled with furry friend.
Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened...