Nov 5, 2019

Four Years Without Our Brutus ~

He's gone" they said.  And in that moment
 my heart shattered into a million pieces 
and my whole world turned black...

It's a beautiful day here in Fort Lauderdale.
The sun is shining and the palm
trees are swaying.  Sniff and
Arvid are here and we have
 what we need. Life is good.

On the other hand, in my heart there stirs a quiet pain. 
 Today marks four years since Brutus died.  I can't 
believe it's been 4 years since I last held him.  

Four years since my baby is no longer here. 
 Yes, in my heart there stirs a quiet pain.

My mind is still having trouble wrapping
 itself around the fact that you're gone. 

There is nothing I can do, but let time do it's job,
 and yes time has made the grief less agonizing, 
but time will never be able to take away 
the loss and the heartache in me. 

 Most days are good days.  It's those
 days when it all comes back to me 
that I struggle to not fall apart.

I am grateful for having Sniff
in our lives.  I will forever be grateful for

 having Brutus with us for 9 years.  
We wanted more.  Much more, but we had 9 of the
 best years in our lives.  Brutus, the day you
 came into our lives you became my life.

We miss you Brutus.  Mama misses you so so much.

Brutus you never came back home.  I washed
all your towels.  Had them stacked waiting for you, but you
never came back home to us.  How I miss you.  I know
it's getting better, this thing called grief, but then
suddenly it knocks you down again.

When you little heart stopped beating, my 
heart just broke in two, knowing that here on
 earth, there will never be another like you...