Nadiya...Loving Every Moment: May 17th ~

May 17, 2019

May 17th ~

Those who think there is a time limit to grief

have never lost a piece of their heart...

There are two moments I will never forget.

The moment we met, and the moment you took

your last breath. Mama misses you so much.

Norwegian Constitution Day is the national day of

Norway and is an official public holiday observed on

May 17 each year. Among Norwegians, the day

is referred to simply as syttende mai.

I mention this because when Brutus came into our lives

we chose this day to be the day he was born. Arvid

being Norwegian and all. One of the happiest days

in our lives. The day Brutus became a part of us.

When Brutus died, one of the worst days and times

we have ever experienced. To this day I miss him

everyday, and I know Arvid also does. Enter Shadow

into our lives. Whatever the reason was, we also

designated his birthday to be May 17th.

So today we celebrate Brutus' birthday and also

little Shadows. Brutus only lived to be 9 years old. We

wanted so much more, at the same time we are so grateful

for the 9 years we had with him. They will forever

be one of the best times of our lives.

Shadow never made it to one year with us. We had him

from November 7th 2015 and he died March 5th 2016.

Talk about grief. The heartache is still with me.

Not daily, but somewhere tucked away and I try to not

"allow" it into my everyday life, but those who know grief

know that it comes in waves. You are never warned.

The days leading up to today were pretty rough for me.

I went back in time and all the memories and the pain

came crashing down on me all over again. I try not to let

Sniff see me crying. It upsets him and that I don't want.

Love is putting your best friend to sleep to end his

suffering, knowing that your suffering is just beginning.

Brutus, Shadow mama and Dada will always love you.

You have a brother. Sniff, he brings laughter
love and peace into our world. We love
him very much. He's a very good boy.

I hope you are together playing, running around,

and having a good time. We are forever grateful you

came into our lives and I will love you forever.

Brutus I think of you everyday. The mind replays

what the heart can't delete. I think a part of me will
always be waiting for you. Mama misses you so much.

No matter where I go, and who comes into our lives,
you Brutus will always be my baby. I will love you
until the end of my days. Happy birthday Brutus
and Shadow. Mama sends lots of love to both of you.