Aug 31, 2021

Tuesday August 31st ~

 A positive attitude will lead to positive outcomes...

The day is looking to be very sunny and very warm.
  Yes, another very beautiful day here in Puerto Rico. 
 I woke up, am having my coffee and watching Sniff 
sleep.  Yeah, many things to be grateful for 😍. 

I have not been out walking in the afternoons for over a week.
  Not that I haven't done my share during the day, but I was
 so down that even when Arvid asked I would say no.  

Little by little I will start to refocus and accept that there 
are certain things that you can't really mess with nor change.

Pretty soon I have to find a laboratory here in Fajardo.  Time
 for more blood work and endocrinologist.  Life goes on, and 
we have to take care of business.  Today I will definitely go
 walking with Arvid.  It's one of our favorite times of the day.

Good morning everyone.  May this day bring us all happy times.

Our attitude towards life determines life's attitude towards us...


Aug 30, 2021

Monday August 30th ~

 Never let a bad situation bring out the worst in you.
Be strong and choose to be positive.  Always...

The new week begins. Just hoping it's a little better
 than the last few weeks.  August has not been a good month
 for me.  A lot is my own fault, but still changes nothing.

 It has left me mentally and emotionally drained.  
 I am always positive that better things are coming.  
They say that sometimes when one door closes  
another  opens.  Hoping very much for that.

Wishing everyone a good week and good days.
 Much better than what I have been having lately.

Rise and shine for a new week to be amazing 
is here. The sun is shining and the skies are blue.  
That is a good start of better things to comeπŸ™

Train your mind to see the 
good in every new situation...


Aug 29, 2021

Sunday August 29th ~

 Sometimes you can't know until you know...

Sometimes things definitely do not go the way you think
 they will.  Life happens and we must face the consequences.
  It's not always easy, but then life sure ain't easy.

Today may not be a good day, but there is always tomorrow
 to look forward to.  In life as long as you give it your best,
 then you can at least have the satisfaction of knowing you did
 every thing possible.  It still does not always make it easier.

Sniff is always there to make me feel better.  I love him.

Silence is sometimes the best answer...


Aug 28, 2021

Saturday August 28th ~

 When the whole world is running towards
 the cliff, he who is running in the opposite 
direction appears to have lost his mind...

The above describes the way I feel right now. 
 I take things way too much at heart and just 
about every time it ends up hurting me.

  I have told myself to step back.  These are
 wild cats after all, and maybe in the long run instead 
of doing them good all I have done is harm.  Arvid keeps 
telling me that quite often.  Maybe he's right.

I won't lie. I am deflated and mentally tired.
 I have Sniff who needs me and who is always 
waiting to cheer me up. I really look forward now 
to the day we go back home to Florida.  Then I can't 
mess with nature anymore as everyone says I do.

It's always important to reflect on all of the blessings you have.

When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of 
disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in...


Aug 26, 2021

Black Thursday In My Heart ~ August 26th

 Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath...

It's  not a good day for me.  Not today not yesterday, 
but I have had difficult times before, and I know better than 
many that time has a way of taking away the brunt of 
the grief.  But right now my heart is grieving.

Tomorrow is another day.  At least today no other kitty
 was found dead.  Yesterday I found baby chewed up
 by dogs, but when I went walking this morning to feed the
 remaining ones, Baby was there she came to me and for 
the first time ever I was able to pet her for a while.

When I saw Baby I knew right away that "my"
 Poo Poo was the one attacked by the dogs.  Yesterday I was 
grieving baby.  Now I grieve for Poo.  He was a big boy,
 but so gentle.  he was dad to Taino, Rocco, WhitePaws, 
Spotify and Rascal.  Just like all  the kitties, I loved Poo

I am completely crushed and fed up with living in
 Fajardo, Puerto Rico.   My heart can't take any more of it.

No one can truly understand the bond we form with our
 cats we love until they experience the loss of one...


Aug 23, 2021

Black Monday / Week Begins August 23rd

 I'm unsure which pain is worse the shock 
of what happened or the ache for what never will...

As the new week begins, I am filled with despair,
 anger, frustration and a lot of why? why? why?

I was told that starting this week "my" kitties,
 the strays I feed will be trapped, sent to a shelter
 where they will definitely be euthanized.

Puerto Rico is not where I want to be anymore.
I want to go back home to Florida, because I cannot bear 
the thought of going for my morning walks anymore 
knowing my kitties will no longer be there.  

Their days are numbered, and hopefully so are ours
 in Fajardo, the dumping spot for your pets πŸ˜’πŸ’”

A thousand moments I had taken for granted,
mostly because I assumed there would be more...


Aug 20, 2021

Friday ~ Still Angry

 Knowing your own darkness is the best method 
for dealing with the darknesses of other people....

I really don't feel OK.  I am so very angry.
  Angry because no one really cares.  I have tried so
 many venues to make my voice heard, but at the
 end of the day it is the same. Nothing happens.

 No one gives a damm if anything happens to any 
of these kitties.  Not only here within our complex, 
but in the entire island.  Their lives mean nothing. 

 I have even called the cops to report that someone is
 poisoning "my" kitties.  He came.  He was polite, very
 nice, but can't do anything unless I saw who did it. 

In the mean time, I wake up every morning with
 the fear that I may see another of "my" kitties dead
 from poisoning.  I will keep trying to see if anyone
 listens.  Not going to give up on this, on them.

In the meantime, we are having hot beautiful days.
  We continue to do our walks.  I have not met 2 other
 kitties I feed.  I call on Blackie, she's black of course, 
and the white one is called Chiquita.  Now they know  me 
and I have given them a bowl for food and one for water.
  Which I refill every time we pass by their spot.

Sniff is calming and relaxing.  Brushing him takes
 away some of my stress, and makes me happy.

The weekend begins on a somber note for me.  I'm 
still affected by the deaths of Spotify and Taino.  I know 
life goes on, but it does not make it any less painful.

The depth of darkness to which you can descend 
and still live is an exact measure of the height 
to which you can aspire to reach...


Aug 18, 2021

Wednesday August 18th ~

 I found my happy place the minute I found you...

We all need a happy place where we can
 "escape" to every once in a while.  Mine is 
Sniff.  I look at him, and I see love πŸ’œ.

Today I am really needing my happy place.  My 
thoughts are taking me places I do not want to go.

I don't think they realize how sleepless nights 
can affect you, or how overthinking can slowly kill you.  
I don't think they know how it can turn your mind
 into thoughts you wish weren't yours...


Aug 17, 2021

Tuesday August 17th ~

 Sometimes I'm not angry, I'm 
hurt and there's a big difference...

Yesterday.  What a day.  I trapped Milo and Mama,
 so that was an accomplishment I have been looking
 forward to for quite some time. Milo was not easy, 
but I got him and with these two trapped I have now
 caught all kitties that I see everyday on my walks.

To catch Milo I had to use three different traps. 
 Finally the 3rd one actually did it.  Yes!

Mama was not that difficult to trap.  She walked right
 into it, walked out, but then went right back in.  Neither she
 nor Milo fought much in the trap.  This is good because they 
did not hurt themselves.  The one who was hurt most when
 trapped was Spotify 😒 she fought like a wild cat.

That was the good part of my morning. 
 On a very different note, two of "my" kitties 
died yesterday.  Spotify and Taino πŸ’”. 

I am heartbroken and I just want to know why???  
Spotify was always in the same spot. Either behind
 the leaves or hiding behind the fence.  She and Rascal
her brother, were always together waiting for me.  

Today Rascal was sad, and didn't eat much.  He just walked around 
looking for his sister Spotify.  I am so angry at this.  So angry.

Living in the wild like these fur babies do will always
 end badly. No matter what I do I will not be able to prevent
 what life has in store for them, and that is a crushing blow.

The rest of the gang was fine.  Everyone showed up.
Spitfire, Poo and Rocco make up a family, minus
 Taino, but they still have each other.

Rascal is alone.  His brother Whitepaws "disappeared"
 over a month ago.  The payed so well together.  Then he and
 Spotify became buddies.  Now she's dead.  His mom, Mama 
does not bond with him.  So Rascal is suddenly all alone.

Yes, I am grateful for so many things, but today 
it's clouded with anger.  Just anger.  Lots of ANGER!!!

Being angry is like holding a burning piece of coal in
 your hand and hoping the other person feels your pain


Aug 16, 2021

Monday Vibes~ August 16th

 Small positive changes to your morning 
routine can transform your entire day...

August is halfway done already 😱 the days are
 going by very fast.  Too fast.  That mean also that our 
time in Puerto Rico is getting shorter and shorter.  

When I think of this I am very sad because I 
picture fourteen cats 🐈 waiting for me. Waiting 
patiently for food and treats, and it hurts. 

 I keep telling myself that they survived before me and
 will survive after me.  I have given them all an extra 
advantage so I’m sure that will be beneficial also.

Meanwhile here at home the “storm” is brewing.  
The winds, the rain and the gloomy skies don't see
 them as yet.  At least not the rain. Sniff gets a little
 scared runs off, but is back before you know it.

I miss my family.  I miss my mom and dad. 
 Back in Florida it was just a drive, but now it’s a 
LONG plane ride, and with all this new COVID 
crap, I won’t be doing any traveling for now.

I was going to a wedding in Fort Lauderdale in 
October but, not sure I will anymore.  Would have 
been nice to see everyone, but safety first.

I was also going to California at the end of
 August, but that has also been rescheduled.  Now I’m
 not sure about that either  sure was looking forward
 to seeing Rima and family 🀭. he last time we 
were in California was 2019😒  Too long

J is still in Colombia working remotely.  Kimsy 
is in Washington, D.C.  Gabsy is currently visiting
 my parents in North Carolina.  A very happy time for
 all of them.  Gabsy is the hippie of our familyπŸ’™.

Wishing everyone a great start of the new week.
  In the island it's time to track the storms.  Just as 
we did in Florida.  In Florida we had the option
 of taking off to a hotel somewhere else, here
  this option does not look so good for us.

Seize the day, then let it go...


Aug 15, 2021

Sunday August 15th ~

 Small steps in the right direction can turn 
out to be the biggest step of your life...

As usual Sundays call for more relaxing times for
 all three of us.  Arvid has his games.  I have my book
 and Sniff has more nap times.  Happy everyone.

Wishing everyone a happy day.  Once again we
 have another Tropical Storm to keep an eye on.  This
 one is called Grace.  Always hoping for the best.

Island time.  Not bad at all.  Another day to enjoy
 the ocean breeze from our balcony, and check out
 the storm that's brewing.  So far no rain as yet.

Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine...


Aug 14, 2021

Saturday August 14th ~

 Time has a wonderful way of showing us what matters...

The old fashion way still has its charm.  
Looking to become a tradition πŸ’š

It started a few months ago when my friend Jennifer 
sent me the first letter.  Almost 10 pages long.  She reminded 
me of when she and I corresponded years ago.  Jennifer was
 my partner when I worked with New York City EMS.

I feel good.  "My" kitties are doing well and soon I
 hope to have all 14 spayed/neutered.  I know more 
will show up, and at that time I will catch them.

Taino's first morning back homme, and he was there with
 the gang.  Hungry and waiting to be fed.  I try not to think
 of the day I we leave PR.  It's breaks my heart, but for now
 they are healthy, well fed, and have had their surgeries.

Soccer started with a bang.  As Arvid says, 
"my days will be very busy now."  Hmm..

What started off as a not so good week suddenly has turned around.  
Everything is working out fine and the week has been saved.

The happiness of your life depends 
on the quality of your thoughts...


Aug 13, 2021

Because There Is Always Something Good ~ Friday August 13th ~

 Whenever you find yourself on the side of
 the majority, it is time to pause and reflect...

Relaxation times at home in Puerto Rico.  Sometimes 
I ask myself, why do we need anything else?  We have 
everything we need right here at home in Puerto Rico.

Just the simple things in life can bring so much
 pleasure.   The other day this rainbow captivated both 
Arvid and I for quite some time.  It was beautiful.

Everyday there is something wonderful 
waiting to happen.  You just have to look for it.
Today I bring Taino home.  Happy Happy.

The true secret of happiness lies in taking
 a genuine interest in all the details of daily life...