Dec 31, 2015

New Year's Eve...

Have patience with all things, but first of all with yourself...

Maybe with age comes wisdom, or maybe I just see life differently right now.  
Sure it's a combination of both, and largely because of Brutus dying I have 
found myself pulling away a little from social media of all kinds.  

It took me a long time after Brutus died to actually want to check out much on my laptop.
  The only thing that I was OK doing was, and still is my blog.  It serves as an outlet
 for me.  One for which I am really grateful.  Better than a psychiatrist.

Occasionally I still do check my Facebook account, but no others.  At least not frequently.
  It is with different eyes I now look at what goes on with FB.  Before I was amused at people
 just outlining their every move in Facebook.  I mean if you wanted to know where a person 
was at every hour you could actually track them down based on their postings.


Today I am not really interested in what everyone does with their every minute. Before if I
 was bored the easiest thing was to log on to FB and be entertained for a little.  Now it
 is just annoying.  Yesterday I logged on and page after page I saw "friends" lives 
detailed minute by minute with their doings.  Gets boring after a while.  I do 
enjoy seeing pictures, but come on one or two is more than enough. 

Even I like to post at least one picture when we go someplace.  Not hundreds of them. 
 No one has the time not desire anyway.  Yes, these days my patience is limited. 

  I know we all post because we want everyone to know where we are and what we are doing,
 and so forth.  I have done it, but as time goes by I hope to do so less and less.  I think 
our privacy is very important and I now say as Arvid, "please do not post any 
pictures of us."  This goes to friends and family.  

Maybe I will feel differently as time goes by.  Today I feel I need to be less visible.
There are many good aspects of FB we enjoy.  It is the way we get to see our gran
daughters daily growth and that of my nieces and nephews among others.

Another beautiful morning here in Fort Lauderdale.  The 3 of us slept in until 8am.
Arvid is already starting on breakfast.  That's his "job" every morning and he looks forward to it.


2015 is soon over.  Somehow it came and went fast.  Our lives have been changed
since Brutus died.  For me nothing right now is the same.  The days just pass by and thoughts 
of Brutus are never far from me.  Missing him is what I do, at the same time Shadow is 
fitting in with us.  He's a very good Kitty Kat, but my Brutus stole my heart.

~Good day to all  of you.  Enjoy the rest of 2015~

Wishing you a happy New Year with a Happy New Day, every day of the year,
as you follow your dreams one day at a time, as the sun rises each day.

Life does not get easier, you just get better at being able to handle it.
May 2016 bring out the best in all of us, and give us a better than 2015 year.
I feel a new beginning coming towards me and I am running to it with open arms...


~Nadiya~

Dec 30, 2015

December 30th...

Sometimes life knocks you on your ass... get up, get up, get up!!!
 Happiness is not the absence of problems, it's the ability to deal with them...

I'm always awake early. Even earlier than usual. Most days I really try to stay in bed. 
Try to fall asleep again like Arvid but most days it does not work so I get up quietly and
 leave Arvid snoring softly in bed. As of late, Shadow has been getting up with me. 

He comes out into the kitchen and eats his soft foodies then he will stick around for a little
 and go back to sleep with Arvid. Maybe a little routine is taking place with the 3 of us.


I sit out in the balcony which at this hour is beautiful.  I see the palm trees sway and
 I see the boats passing by. Mornings are still beautiful. Not exactly how they
used to be, but nonetheless I enjoy them and look forward to them.

As of late as I had mentioned before, I have been telling myself I have to let go of Brutus. 
 Easier said than done, but I need to do it. For all our sakes I need to push through this hump
 that has me stuck. Stuck. Stuck. Not fair to Arvid. Not fair to Shadow nor to myself.

Arvid has been nothing but kindness. Planning outings, trips and all kinds of things for us.
 As he said the least I can do is take an interest in it.  And I will.  The calendar as he
 said for 2016 is already looking good. We have a few things already planned.


We take long walks in the afternoons.  The weather is beautiful and the scenery 
is always appealing and enjoyable.  As Arvid says, "this is why we live in Florida."

A couple of overnights in January, February and who knows how the rest will shape up.
  Arvid's  eldest daughter and boyfriend visit from February to March so we have
 something to look forward then as well.  One day at a time right now.

We both still prefer quiet times by ourself, but a little company for short periods
 is also good.  Not exactly sure what the day holds, but with Arvid I am never
 sure either. He is always making plans and before I know it we are heading 
somewhere.  Right now sounds OK to me. Very OK indeed.

Shadow is growing up fast. He does quite a lot of the things Brutus did.  We smile 
often, but also at the same time part of my heart is tearing apart.  It is now 
just Arvid, Shadow and I among the living.  Brutus is now a beautiful
 memory but my heart sure aches for more than a Memory.


Life. No one ever said it was a bed of roses. You take the good with the bad. 
And to be honest we do have a good life. We have each other and yes we do have
 many things to be grateful for. And yes I am always grateful for something.

Hello world.  It's another beautiful day here in Fort Lauderdale.
Wishing you all the same wherever you may be.

Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life
 is the foundation for all abundance...

~Nadiya~

Dec 28, 2015

December 28th..

One small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day...

Tropical warm days here in Florida.  Most beautiful time of the year and we are 
fortunate to call it home.  I know that many look forward to coming and spending some of
their coldest months here.  Can't blame them.  It is definitely Paradise especially in winter.


The first thing visitors do when they come to Florida is to post a picture of the palm 
trees and beach.  Who can fault them?  I would do the same.  It is definitely Paradise.


Living here we sometimes get comfy and take it for granted, but then we are reminded
 by friends and family of how good it is.  Arvid's mother in Norway was just
 telling him yesterday how it was starting to snow by her. Yikes.  Cold


Arvid is from Norway, but he hates the cold.  Guess I can't blame him.  The other day 
a friend asked him if he was not going home (Norway) this year for Christmas.  
He looked at the friend and said, "I am home.  Florida is where I belong.  When 
we go to Norway we are just visiting."  Yes the warm climate is for us.

December 28th... Just a few more days until 2015 is history.  Wishing you all the very best 
for the remaining of this year and may 2016 be one very memorable year in only 
good ways.  Arvid, Shadow and I will bring in the New Year quietly.


  An entire year will soon begin without our Brutus.  My tears are less everyday.  
There is just sadness in my heart and I am slowly accepting that my Brutus is dead, and
 that no matter what he is never coming back home.  Do I miss him?  Everyday.

Good morning everyone.  May this day be a good one for all  of us.

Positive thinking isn't about expecting the best to happen every time, 
but accepting that whatever happens is the best for this moment...

~Nadiya~

Dec 27, 2015

Song To Brutus...

I miss you as soon as I wake up.  
I miss you when I am about to sleep.  I wish you were here next to me...

Arvid wrote this song for me about Brutus.  What else is there to say?


Our days are OK.  Nothing a few Coronas won't cure as Arvid says.
For me it takes a little more than that, but there is always something good in each day.


Brutus took my heart with him.  
I'm missing him and only time will heal the pain I feel.

I keep myself busy with things to do, 
but everytime I pause, I still think of you...

~Nadiya~

Dec 25, 2015

December 25th

No matter how good or how bad you think life is, wake up each day and be
 thankful for life. Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive...

The day is finally here. Quiet for us, but quiet can also be good.


Celebrations are going on all over, but in our home we don't feel like celebrating much.
A very special member of our family is no longer with us and for that we grief.
Brutus is missed more than anyone could imagine.  Not only by me, 
but just as much by Arvid.  He just deals with it differently.

We do have a new member in our family, Shadow as you all know.  He also needs 
to be cared for and to be loved as much and that we do.  He is now our other baby.


We plan to have a nice meal at home and then later go to the beach for drinks 
and appetizers.  Here in Florida we are quite lucky t be able to go in shorts all year long.

I am always grateful for so much goodness in my life.  Today is my mom's birthday.
Grateful that we were all able to spend it with her last year.  This year my heart has sadness,
but I remind myself that no matter what there is always something to be grateful for.


Arvid is so good to me.  Today he showed me a whole new level of love, kindness, 
thoughtfulness and that specialness that is unique to him.  Today is 50 days since our
 Brutus died.   50 days since I last held him.  45 days since we have had Shadow.  ~Life~ 
it takes you by surprise and you just have to keep moving if you want to survive.

Brutus, mama, dada and Shadow wish you a Merry Christmas.
We wish so very much you were here with us.  Dada wrote you a song.


Merry Christmas everyone. 
 Live life to the fullest because it only happens once.

Sometimes you just have to make peace with your past in order 
to keep your future from becoming a constant battle...

~Nadiya~

Dec 24, 2015

December 24th...

The happiest time of the year, I will feel it soon...

Every December 23rd in Norway Victoria and Michael go to her grandfathers's
grave (Arvid's dad) and that of he grandmother (mom's mother.)  There they light a 
candle and she always include me in wishing him a Merry Christmas.  Thank you Victoria.


Arvid and I enjoyed a pleasant evening at the home of good friends.


Not much of a drinker, but last night the wine tasted good, and so did some other stuff 
the hostess made.  Norwegian traditional things so not exactly sure what it was, but I know
 it was good.  It was good to get out, drive by the beach and see Christmas everywhere.


Many celebrate Christmas today.  
Wishing you all the merriest of times today and everyday.

Mornings are still so quiet without you.  Not the same Brutus.
Time for me to have my cafe and some quiet time with my Brutus.  Mama misses
 you Brutus.  Everyday.  Miss my mornings with you Brutus.  Miss everything with you.  
Shadow is now growing fast and will celebrate his first Christmas with us. 

I know life goes on, but it's not the same without you
Sometimes the hardest thing in life is letting go...

~Nadiya~

Dec 23, 2015

Soon It Will Be Christmas Day...

Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone...

Soon it will be Christmas Day.  To our friends and family near and far away,
we are sending our best wishes and a big hug.  From us to all of you.

Last Christmas Arvid surprised his family in Norway.  
Was a great time there for all of them.


I spent the Christmas of 2015 in NC with  all of my family.  Was also a great time.
The trend is that  most Christmases we are never home.  Brutus used to spend the day with 
Liliana.  Weird that he now died and we will be spending the Christmas at home.

Shadow is growing fast.  He is a sweet little kitty and both Arvid and I are just 
amazed at all the things he does.  He keeps us going and busy.


In my quiet moments my thoughts wander to my Brutus.  I still cannot
understand why he died and this is keeping me from moving on .

I told Brutus that I have to let go for my own sake.  This does not mean I will
be forgetting him or stop thinking of him, but by doing so I am hoping to be able 
to move forward and not stay stuck in the same spot I have been since he died.


For now wising you all a great day and remainder of 2015.  I am
practicing my letting go slowly.  Not there yet, but I know it has to be done.
Will start tomorrow.  Today I still don't want to let go of my baby.

Happy December 23rd friends.  Soon it will be Christmas Day.

Christmas is the spirit of giving without a thought of getting...

~Nadiya~

Dec 22, 2015

Tuesday...

It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out;
it's the grain of sand in your shoe...

What started out as a sunny day is suddenly cloudy, dark, and for sure thunderstorms are
on the way.  These last 2 months have been crazy weather wise and some more.
Happy Tuesday to all.  Just barely 3 days till Christmas.  Ours will be quiet.


Both Arvid and I collected a few goodies for ourselves.  Him some Norwegian candy
and me a few of my favorite fruit from the Swap Shop.  Christmas is looking up.


A little something for both of us to nibble on while we relax in the evenings.


Even though neither of us feel Christmasy, there is laughter and the sounds
of Christmas all around us.  Next year I hope for better times.  We both do.


To all a very good day.  I think I will now go and enjoy some of my fruit.

I tell myself that tomorrow hold better days, but when tomorrow
 comes I'm still waiting for those better days....

~Nadiya~

Dec 20, 2015

Sunday...

We often take for granted the very most thing that deserves our gratitude...

In between the rain there is always beauty.


A little alone time with my thoughts and to appreciate the goodness around us.


Driving around the neighborhood we do see interesting things.


We sure are surrounded by beauty at every turn.
Our very own piece of paradise on our doorstep.


 Starbucks run early in the morning and sometimes not so early.


Life is made up of moments.  It's up to us to make the most of them.


Life in Mexico is relaxing.  Here we eat fresh food everyday.
Farmers Market every Wednesday and Saturday.


From sunrise to sunset there is beauty all around us.


To all a very good day.
May today be better than yesterday for all of us.

My life isn't perfect, but I'm thankful for everything I have...

~Nadiya~

Dec 19, 2015

Rain..And More Rain

The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude...

Arvid and I have contingency plans for just about everything.  At least we talk about what if,
 should so and so happen.  Facing life without Brutus, well there is no backup plan. 

 All we ever said was that we looked forward to at least 20 if not more years with Brutus.
  In this scenario we were cheated of 11 plus years.  As you can see life without Brutus is
 just not working out that great for me, but at the same time one keeps moving
 and moving cause if you stop you get knocked over by...LIFE itself.

Good morning everyone.  Today has not started out so good for me.  I was awake early
 and with that thoughts of Brutus takes up all my space.  It goes without saying that I 
am missing him all the time.  I just can't seem to get over that hump.


  He stole my heart and today I am a broken person.  Yes, before you say it AGAIN!!!
 I know he was just a cat, but in our world he was more than that.  As we went to 
sleep last night Arvid said to me (again); "you know I miss Brutus also,
 but I just can't think of him all day long because it will drive me crazy.  
He was our baby and our best friend and I will never forget him."

It is a beautiful Saturday morning here.  The air is always nice and cool in the mornings.
Sitting out inn the balcony is always quiet and all you hear are the birds and you see 
a few people walking their doggies.  Life goes on as it should.  Soon the people 
will start their daily routines and the business will begin. 

That in itself has it's charm because we have gotten to know many just by
 watching them.  Arvid loves to see the people come and go in the boats.
  Makes him happy and keeps him entertained and relaxed.

We had some good walks yesterday.  We saw Mexican Brutus in the evening.  Fed him 
and for a little enjoyed watching him.  The day had spurts of drizzle, but did not 
stop us from doing anything.  No soccer games yesterday, but even so we went to our 
favorite restaurant and had a delicious meal.  Life is good to us no matter what.


A new day begins.  Always with the promise of better things to come.
As always I embrace it and I try to always see the good in life.  I always do, it's just
 that right now I am having a very hard time understanding why Brutus died.


Good morning everyone.  We now have a Starbucks location in our area.  Not something
 I do even back home, but here it gives me the opportunity to get out early in the mornings.
  Some mornings when I need to clear my head more than others.  Another beautiful 
day begins.  Let's think of the possibilities that await us and make it count.

Hello rainy Saturday.


Rainy days are perfect to cuddle and watch TV...

~Nadiya~

Dec 18, 2015

Friday In Mexico...

You can't start the next chapter in your life
 if you keep re-reading the last one...

This time in Mexico neither of us is really in the mood to go touring.  We are just
staying within the confines of our neighborhood which works out fine for me.

Sitting out in the balcony, something I never did that much is what I do quite often these days. 
 Arvid as always is the balcony type.  He enjoys it all the time and keeps me focused.


We have already done our morning walk for today.  So many beautiful places to see and
just life going on everywhere like it should.  People are happy and having the best of times.

Weather wise it is hot, so today I did like the locals.  I went walking around town with the
umbrella.  Really protects against the heat and of course the few heavy drizzles we had.
 Rain or no rain we do our walks.  As always I take pictures of any and everything.


  Today I did cars, and some of the means of transportation of the locals.  Kept me busy,
 and entertained.  As always I can only get Arvid from behind.  As we walked we
talked about Brutus, Shadow and how fortunate we are no matter what has
 happened.  I know we are and for that I am always thankful.


To all a very good day.  Wishing you all a happy Holiday Season.

Forget all the reasons why it won't work,
 and believe the one reason why it will...

~Nadiya~

Dec 17, 2015

Life.. It Is What It Is...

Start each day with a grateful heart.
Sometimes life knocks you on your ass... get up, get up, get up!!! 
Happiness is not the absence of problems, it's the ability to deal with them...

I am really trying to have a good time, and I am sure that even though my heart is not
into it, I am giving it my best shot.  Daytime is bright, sunny and lots of things going on.


I love walking around the area and I do so quite often.  Yesterday it was market day for us.
 We both look forward to this day twice a week.  Every Wednesday and Saturday.
 It's nice to go into town and get all the fresh vegetables and fruit we want.
 Plus it keeps us busy and makes me happy to have something to do.

The other night Arvid and I went strolling into town as we do most evenings.  Lucky
for us there was live music going on.  Best of all for Arvid.  It was the Blues.
 Of course we sat down had a few drinks and a nibble.  At some point
  Arvid got up and asked the musician to play a certain song.


Last night as we were walking and we looked for Mexican Brutus Arvid said,
"you remember me asking the musician to play a song for me the other night?"  I said
yes, but he never played it.  Arvid said it was because the other guy did not know
 the song.  Arvid then said, "I asked him to play baby please don't go." Then he said,
"that was for Brutus." And he proceeded to quote me the lyrics:

Baby, please don't go.  Baby, please don't go
Baby, please don't go, down to New Orleans
You know I love you so.

Of course I started to cry again.  This combined with seeing Mexican Brutus was too much. 
 Mexican Brutus reminds me so much of our Brutus.  Not looks, but everything else. 
 As we fed him, and he grazed all over us; Arvid proceeded to sing to him. 

 Just the way he sang to Brutus.  Same song.  Shadow does not care for this routine as 
of right now.  For those minutes all I pictured was Brutus, Arvid and I happy like we used
 to be when we were all together.  I'm stuck and I am really trying to get un-stuck.


I have been awake since 5 am.  For someone on vacation that is a it early.  I love mornings.
I have already had my cafe and now will just go out and sit on the balcony listening to the
 birds chirping away.  The day is looking good and we plan to make the most of it.

New day for good things to happen and to remember that no matter what there is 
always something to be grateful for.  I remind myself of this everyday.  Brutus may 
not be around anymore, but little Shadow is waiting for us back home.


Good morning all may our day be filled with love, laughter and all things good.  Like I 
tell myself, remember there is always something to be grateful for.  Today and everyday.

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive
—to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love—then make that day count...

~Nadiya~

Dec 16, 2015

Wednesday..One Day At A Time...


Sometimes all you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess.
Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best...

We take long walks in the mornings.  We see the beautiful flowers and many, many stray
kitties.  As always I have a bag of food for them.  Yesterday we fed 6 at one time.


There is beauty and life all around us.  I always visit the 2 lovebirds that live in one of the 
nearby restaurants.  It's interesting to see their interaction with each other.  They are cute.

As always I am awake very early.  My morning coffee seems to taste much
 better watching the sunrise.  Maybe just my imagination, but it does.  I love mornings.


After breakfast Arvid and I go for a walk.  Neither of us wants to spend too much 
idle time, more like he does not want me to have too much time on my hands.  Right
now I appreciate that very much.  Alone time, which I used to really enjoy is now not the best.

Yesterday it was soccer at The Pub.  One of our favorite spots in our area.  As always the food,
is good as is the view and the drinks.  My drink of choice in Mexico is the homemade lemonade.


For our evening walk we went by the docks.  Right by our apartment.  Had the bad of
kitty food with me.  Of course we heard meowing.  A cute black and white kitty
 came running up to us.  He/She then proceeded to do exactly as Brutus would..


Just grazed all over us.  Flopped on Arvids feet and then rolled over several times
for petting/brushing.  There and then no one would make me believe that it was not
Brutus.  Liliana says Shadow is doing good, but not eating as well as he should.

  Of course I worry about him as well.  Arvid is very keen these days on making sure
 Liliana sends us pictures of Shadow.  Yesterday he said, "she only sent 2 pictures?"

Good morning everyone.  It is another beautiful day here in Mexico.
They say the future comes one day at a time.


There is no pause in life, the moment we pause, we stop living.

~Nadiya~