Mar 5, 2023

Little Shadow ๐Ÿพ~ Sunday March 5th

 No amount of guilt can change the past, and 
no amount of worrying can change the future...


I thought of you today little Shadow.  You came into
 our lives just a few days after our Brutus died.  You ๐Ÿพ
 were just a tiny little baby, fearless and so full of energy.  
We never had the chance to get to know you much.  


We had you for just four months before you died.  I will 
never be able to forget the way you died.  We trusted you 
with someone I thought would take care of you.  I was very
wrong ๐Ÿ˜ข. For the short time you were with us, I loved you.


Time heals many things but has little effect on guilt  ๐Ÿพ.
Seven years ago today you died a horrible death.  We trusted 
your care with someone I though would take good care of you. 
 They call it an accident, I call it something totally different.


Some days the memories just come crashing down on me.
  In life I have learned that when "bad" things happen, we can 
get to the point of forgiving, but forgetting is another thing. 


 Many things have happened in my life, just like in everyone's. 
 Some can forgive and forget.  I have found that I can forgive, 
move on, but sometimes forgetting does not come easy.  There 
are a few things in my life I can forgive, but I can not forget.
 Some scars run too deep and caused too much pain Shadow ❤ 
he was just a little baby.  Not even a year old.  So wrong.


I may not be the smartest one here, but forgetting takes a 
long time for me.   I know I will be a better person if I can let go,
 but something in me is not ready.  Forgiving someone is easy, 
but being able to trust them again is a totally different story.


March 5th 2000 I met Arvid.  Dania Beach, Florida at a 
restaurant that no longer exists.  It was called Martha's  Some 
23 years ago, and as he said, "it's not over"  I love this man.


 Guilt is always hungry, don’t let it consume you.  
Be careful with your words. Once they are said,
 they can be only forgiven, not forgotten...

~Nadiya~