Mar 31, 2012

He's Gone....

Losing someone is the worst feeling. Loss carves out a deep, hollow pocket. There's no magical way to fill it, no medicine or Band-Aid or surgery to cure it. I suppose that over time you get used to it, but the feeling never totally goes away. And the more time you spend on earth, the more pockets you'll collect. But it's part of living. It's life....

Why does it take death to make us appreciate what we have and what life is all about?  Too often we all gripe about all the things in life that we don't have, that we need or just complain without ever stopping to appreciate what we have and to give thanks for it.  All it took was a phone call from Arvid saying, "he's gone" and I realize again how life is a gift and how we should to be grateful for what we have rather to just complain about what is wrong.

I am no different, wish I could say I was.  We all spend so much energy complaining about the little things that we forget the bigger picture.  It takes the death of a loved one, of a friend , of someone we know to bring us back to earth and make us realize that what we have is worth celebrating and what we complain and gripe about is just no big deal.

Today we learnt that someone very dear to us has died.  A very good person, friend and human being. Life offers no guarantees.  What is here today can be taken away in a blink of the eye.  I have lived through the deaths of a few loved ones.  Each time has been different, but each time it has been devastating to me.  Each time I tell myself that we have to slow down and take into perspective what life is all about.  That we have to appreciate what we have today and not leave it for tomorrow.

i love you brutus
Honestly, Arvid and I have been getting better and better at enjoying our lives and living for today.  We are always trying and I believe succeeding in never taking each other for granted.  We make it a point to point out how lucky we are to have found each other and to enjoy our lives together.  We have decided to never let anything nor anyone come between us because you see what we have is special and the good thing is that we know so but, even so with this new death it puts everything again into a stark reality that life holds no guarantees and we must cease the moment while we can. 

For me every time someone I know dies brings back all the memories of the loss I suffered years ago.  Of all the things left unfinished, of all the plans made and never completed of the life I once knew for a little and was taken away in seconds.  I have moved on and have made a promise to myself to never have to look back and say "I wish I had done so and so...". 
 There is a place in my heart that memories still live on.  

I love you arvid hvidsten
With Arvid life is wonderful and our promise to each other is to enjoy every day, every moment we have together to the fullest.  I never take him for granted.  We never leave for tomorrow what we can do today.  We always tell each other how grateful we are and how lucky we are to have each other in our lives.  Second chances are not that frequent.  We were given a second chance and we make it count every day.  Life with Arvid is complete and I can definitely say that together the two of us have done just about everything and more we have set out to do. The things we have done together are unsual and, amazing and sometimes just plain crazy, but neither of us would have it no other way.  There is still lots more we want to do and I know we will do it. 

They say nothing in this life is certain except death and taxes.  How true.  I hope that all of you reading this take a moment to say thank you for what you have, thank you for waking up to another day, for the birds that sing, the sun that shines, and for everything that you normally take for granted

Goodbye to a wonderful person and someone I called a friend.  You will be missed.
As they say, "Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye"?

eventually, everything goes away....