I should know enough about loss to realize that you
never really stop missing someone-you just learn to
live around the huge gaping hole of their absence...
.jpg)
If Brutus were alive, he would have been turning 18
years old. Brutus died when he was just 9. It's been 10 years
already, and my heart still misses him. If our Shadow were alive,
he would have turned ten today also. We only had Shadow for four
months before he died. I trusted someone to care for him while
we were visiting my parents in North Carolina. She didn't.
Brutus died and he took a part of my heart with him. Because
of Shadow's horrible death it, tears us apart just thinking of it.
Arvid holds a lot of anger to the person who caused his death,
and the truth is so do I, even though I try to believe I don't.
My heart will always be grateful for the years we
had with Brutus and the 4 months we had with Shadow.
I won't lie, I wanted more. So so much more with them.
Everytime I think I have found peace, something disrupts it. A
memory comes flooding back and it takes me back to ground zero.
I don't stay there, but my heart grieves all over again. It takes a lot
more courage to let something go than it does to hang on to it.
I am so grateful for my Sniff.
He saved me and he's my happy place.
Brutus, we miss your soothing purrs and the way
your presence turned every house into a home.
One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go...
~Nadiya~
