Apr 16, 2019

Life ~

Grief is never something you get over. You don't
 wake up one morning and say, 'I've conquered that;
 now I'm moving on.' It's something that walks beside you 
every day. And if you can learn how to manage it and honor 
the person that you miss, you can take something that
 is incredibly sad and have some form of positivity...
Everyday is a good day no matter what happens.
  We always find a reason to see the positive and the 
good around us.  So what happened last night?

  As we were going to bed, Arvid turned off the 
lights,  and said "it's 11:11"  I said "that's our bedtime 
with Brutus"  It was like clockwork.

After that I'm not sure what happened because it 
seemed as if all of a sudden Brutus just died all over
 again.  I could not stop crying and the grief 
was too much.  All over again.

It took me a very long time to fall asleep, and to stop
 my mind from going back to the day Brutus died.  I
 have a memory that sometimes is my worst enemy. 

As I was immersed in grief I was also thinking of Sniff.
  Of how much I love him, and at the same time how much
 I wished our Brutus was still here.  Today will be better. 
 It's a beautiful day here. I'm done with my workout
 and Sniff is all over the place chasing a leaf. 

Today will be better.  I'm calmer, but my heart is sad.

Your grief path is yours alone, and no one else can
 walk it, and no one else can understand it...