About Life...

What i like about photographs is that they capture a moment 
that’s gone forever, impossible to reproduce...

My good friend Anna posted this the other day.  Something worth reflecting on.

I am the first to admit that I also need to take time every so often and reflect on all that's

 good around me.  I may not have everything I want, but I do have what I need.

Memories are what I have.  Tons of memories and each and everyone I cherish.

Some of them are sad, but there is nothing I would change because each of those memories 

have made me into the person I am today.  For what is a memory today was one day 

a lifetime of experiencing life, love, happy times and yes sadness also.

Too often memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.  
Even so, would you give up on them?  No matter how much suffering you went through, 
you never wanted to let go of those memories.  I sure don't.  I can't.  No matter what. 
 In some cases it's all I have left of people I loved and of my Brutus and Shadow.

I take pictures of any and everything.  Maybe too much so, but today I look back on 
them and having a good memory I can recall exactly when and where it was taken, and what
 we were doing.  Maybe it is a curse I don't know.  As of now it is still not easy to look
 at pictures of Brutus and Shadow without being overcome with grief, but I guess
 I must really enjoy punishment because i just can't bring myself to not look at them. 
 I never will.  My Brutus is my baby, and Shadow was my little kitty kat.

Life is a journey.  You never know what it holds or where it will take you.
What we can do is to enjoy the trip and make it count each and every day. 
 Take the good with the bad.  No other choice really

Life is a journey with problems to solve, lessons to learn,but most of all, experiences
 to enjoy.  I am learning to trust the journey even though I do not understand it...

~Nadiya~

Sniffer...Sniff Sniff...

Stop looking for reasons to be unhappy.  Focus on the things

 you do have, and the reasons you should be happy....

He came into our lives on March 7th.

Beautiful little kitty kat.  Right away he captivated Arvid and I.  Gentle, calm, and loving. 

 In so many ways he reminded us of Brutus, at the same time he was his own little "person"

He loves it when I brush him.  He even "complains" when I don't.  I love Sniffer.

He's not too crazy about having his picture taken, but I'm patient.  Brutus was 

also turning his head away from the camera.  Shadow was never still so he did not care.

Every morning I go out to the balcony with my coffee.  I watch the boats go by and just 

see the palm trees sway.  I sit on the balcony floor and leave the door open.  I am constantly 

watching Sniffer.  Everyday he keeps peeking out a little more.  Then he takes off into 

hiding.  Like Brutus he is not brave.  At least not as yet.  The fearless kitty was Shadow.  

When he's not happy he let's us know.  When he wants playtime he let's us know, and of 

course we drop what we are doing to make sure he stays happy.  Sniff reminds me of our 

Brutus in so many ways.  He has of course his own personality, but so much is like Brutus.

Sniffer is a reminder that even in sadness there are also reasons to be thankful for, and reasons 

to be happy and grateful.  Anna also reminded me of all the things both her and I have in our lives

 for which we should be grateful for.  Thank you Anna for always being there. You more than 

anyone have been a great help to me.  Always there to listen and to offer encouragement.

A reminder to all of us.  Our lives may not be full with reasons to be happy, but 

our life itself is the reason to be happy.  Happy day to all, and let's make each day count.

Be happy with the little you have.  There are some people with nothing who 

still manage to smile.  There are so many beautiful reasons to be happy...

~Nadiya~

Going With the Flow...

We're all in the same game; just different levels.

Dealing with the same hell; just different devils...

Walks and more walks is what we do in the afternoon.  The weather right now is gorgeous.

Come summer, well that is debatable on who you ask.  For us it is too HOT.

That's why come June Arvid, Sniffer and I head out to Chicago.  

Yesterday was a walk day for us.  As always I love to stop and take pictures.  

The truth is that i delete most of the pictures once I download them on the laptop, 

but the fun lies in the taking.  Arvid sometimes gets impatient with me. 

Says I slow him down, but no matter what he still waits for me.

Many little chores planned for today so not sure of how the day will play out. 

 I have been hoping to go to the movies, but so far we have not been able to make the 

time for it.  Movies are my way of forgetting for a while.  I have always loved going to the 

movies.  Now even more.  For me it's an escape for a few hours.  I also don't mind going alone.

Sniffer is doing great.  Sleeps with us from 11:30 until we get up in the mornings.  Then

 he eats and wants to be brushed and played with.  Of course i do that before I do

 anything else.  If not he will not shut up.  He's very cute to have around.

The days are going by fast.  Brutus has been dead for 161 days now.  I miss

holding him very much.  Shadow has been dead for 40 days already. Little shadow

how my heart griefs for this little kitty that never made it to one year.

Both Shadow and Brutus will have birthdays on May 17th.  Brutus would have been 10

 years old.  Brutus, mama misses you like crazy.  My little Shadow would have turned one.

Life takes us in many directions.  We never expected Brutus to die.  Arvid and I always

 talked about having him for 20 years if we were lucky.  When Shadow came along, obviously 

we expected the same.  They both died on the 5th of the month.  Weird if you ask me.

Life is full of surprises.  I don't like surprises.  Never did.  Never will.

I don't know what they are called, the spaces between seconds, 

but I think of you always in those intervals.  Don't be afraid to change 

you may lose something good, but you may gain something better...

~Nadiya~

Wednesday Again...

Sometimes you have to forget what's gone,
appreciate what still remains and look forward to what's next...

Arvid talks all the time about going to Chicago.  Everyday he reminds me of how 

much we love that city, and he's not wrong.  In his way he's trying to get me to focus on

all the good things in our lives and to remember that we have a good life and even

 though we have had a lot of sadness in it, our life is good.  Arvid is so right.

Florida and Chicago.  Two places we call home.  Strange because even though Arvid is

 from Norway he says it's no longer home for him.  Guess the cold is not for this "Viking."

Florida, Chicago, Norway all so very different.  In Chicago we enjoy the city life.
Both Arvid and I love it.  In Florida we enjoy the weather.  We would not change it for
anything.  Especially in the winter.  Summertime belongs to Chicago.  No place better.

Norway.   It is mainly family that we go for.  We see Arvid's mom, and grand kids just
about everyday.  After all we only get there once a year so we try to make the most of every
 day with his family. Norway is usually juggling our time from one family member to another.

 Sometimes it gets a bit hectic, but Arvid and I always have the afternoons and evenings
to ourselves.  As he says we also need some time alone.  Be it with his family or
 mine.  We love our evenings alone and we love our mornings by ourselves.
By now both his and my family know this, and it has not been a problem.

The best times I have are the times in Chicago, and yes Florida.
 My favorite place in Norway is Oslo, but we only get there once per visit.

There is no place I would rather be than in the United States of America.  It's home,
 and it is where we belong.  As far as I'm concerned it's the best place in the world.

I want to say thank you to all my friends who have messaged me, emailed me and yes
some have called.  I am doing OK.  I am focusing a little on myself and trying to
put everything into perspective.  I am missing Brutus very much. This thing they
call grief comes in waves.  Right now I am having a not so good wave.

Weather wise it's beautiful here in Fort Lauderdale.  I watch the boats all day long.

Always something to see. We are trying to get Sniffer to walk out in the
balcony with his leash on.  So far no luck.  He looks at the door and he just freaks out.

To all a very good day and a reminder to all of us, that no matter how hard things
may seem.  There's always something good coming around the corner.

In three words I can sum up everything I learned about life: "it goes on"...

~Nadiya~

Facebook Hiatus...

Finding yourself consists of peeling off years of social conditioning
to find a self as it existed during childhood, un-masked....

I have decided to take a "vacation" from Facebook.   It has become too much work lately.

It is always the same old, same old, and I am tired of it.  Arvid for one is always telling

 me to do so and finally I came to that conclusion on my own.

It's the same everyday.  Millions of pictures of people doing this or doing that and

sometimes I feel as if I have to hit the "like" button just because.  I'm tired.

I don't need to see what someone does at every minute of the day.  I don't need to know 

what you ate for lunch, I don't need to know anything really.  Right now i feel this way.  I 

guess I am in a little slump.  Have had a good day, but suddenly it changed.

Facebook has this way of reminding you of what happened on this same day a year ago, 

two years ago and so forth.  My memories are always with Brutus and it is just too painful.

Just when i think the day will go smoothly a memory will pop up and it sets me back.

Arvid is not that interested in anything on FB.  Says he does not care what so and so is doing.  

"None of my business.  I have better things to do with my time."  That's Arvid.

We see our grand kids on Skype every week, Arvid talks to his family every Sunday.

And I am in touch with my family daily.  So all important bases are covered.

I am still on messenger, Whatsapp, email, text, Snapchat and god know what else.

The point is if someone needs to get hold of me, there are many ways to do so.

Right now I need to come to terms with the turmoil I am living.  I really don't 

have the time to waste nor do I feel the need to.  May you all have wonderful vacations, 

delicious lunches, wonderful cruises, and whatever else it is you do.  

One day when I feel better I will once again be ready to participate in the "nonsense" 

of Facebook.  I will be able to see the the fakeness of everyday life again through the eyes 

of social media without getting upset nor wondering how people can be so superficial.

I will be able to understand once again that people just mean well even if it's all a lie.

For now i wish you all better times than what i am experiencing.  Life

sometimes does not go according to how we want it, but we do the best we can and we 

take it one day at a time.  One day it will be better.  I am looking forward to that day.

You have to fight some very bad days to earn some of the best days 
of your life.  Either you run the day or the day runs you..

~Nadiya~

A New Week Begins..

May your coffee be strong and you Monday be short.
It's the start of a new week, which means it's time to shake off your weekend,
 take a deep breath and try to think positive, energizing thoughts....

New week and we all know it is going to be better than the last.  At least we will give it
 our best shot and hope always for the best.  Good morning everyone. As I enjoy my cafe,
 I think of my kitties.  Coffee time with them was the best.  Now I have it with Sniffer.

Hope your weekend was relaxing and that you are all rejuvenated and ready
 for the new work week. Ours has been pretty relaxing and easy going. 

 Yes, we are ready for the new week as well.  We always begin our week by Skyping
 with Michelle, Emil, Chico and our granddaughters in Norway.  Could not be any better.
  Seeing the faces of those two little girls sure makes for a pleasant start of the week.

Yesterday we had a very nice day and what made it better was driving by the beach and
 seeing all the fun-crazy things people do.  Always very interesting and educational.

I'm not exactly sure as yet what the day hold, but I am sure there will be lots going on.
  With Arvid that is a given.  Sniffer is fitting in so good into our lives.  We are happy 
with him.  I have not been able to talk to Liliana again.  Can't seem to bring 
myself to do so right now.  Something there has been destroyed.  

I hope one day to rebuild that relationship.  For now my days are going by much 
more smoothly.  I think of my Brutus and my heart is always breaking.  I really miss him. 
 I really miss him.  I don't cry like before.  I just sit and think of him and wonder.

Yesterday as I was looking at some pictures of Shadow I just could not help but cry. 
 I cry for a kitty that never had a chance.  I still cannot take the clothes out of the dryer
 without freaking out.  Arvid does it, but something draws me to it.  I just feel the heat.

New week.  Only positive thoughts are allowed.  Yes I also have to remind myself of this.  
May your week begin with a good bang and keep getting better and better.

When people try to rain on your parade poke them in the eye with your umbrella.
It's a new week so get out there and make it happen girl.  You've got this...

~Nadiya~

Sunday..Funday

Spring is a time of new beginnings, new possibilities.
What qualities would you like to grow this spring?...

I have to keep reminding myself.  Every so often I sink into a "bad spot." 

 It takes effort, and a strong will to "pull" myself out.  Sometimes it works other 

times I just have to ride it out.  Today I am already working on myself.

One of the nice things both Arvid and I enjoy together are our walks.  Sometimes we 

walk to the beach other times we walk through the neighborhood.  Either way it

 is relaxing and enjoyable and I have many opportunities to get pictures.  Always 

I get Arvid from the back.  He rarely turns around when I ask him to.  

A few days ago I treated myself to some pampering.  Thank you Victoria for the
manicure and pedicure.  Was good to sit and have someone pamper me.  While at the
mall, I also noticed that they are already gearing up for July 4th.  Time is flying.

To all a very good day.  May it be peaceful and full of all things good.  Sunday
is a always a good day to enjoy quality time with family and the ones you love.

As always Arvid and I enjoy an outing where we can sit out, enjoy the weather and
 hopefully watch the boats go by as we enjoy our lunch.  Sunday is one of our favorite days.

Be patient, the best things happen unexpectedly.
Possibilities are always endless...

~Nadiya~

Feeling Positive...

Always try and be a better person than you were yesterday,  cause 
we aren't guaranteed tomorrow.  Positive thoughts lead to positive results...

All three of us woke up late today.  Sniffer was awake at 6am as usual, but if I don't get out of 

the bed, he roams around a bit then he usually will come and lay down again.  Usually I am 

awake.  I give him foodies then he goes back to bed with Arvid those 2 are sleepyheads.

Our day so far is very relaxing.  Arvid has soccer almost all day long.  Saturday

 is filled up almost every week.  Gives me time to go to the mall or do something

 on my own.  Today I don't feel like doing much.  Just relax and read.

Sniffer already did his "job" for the morning so now he is fast asleep on his condo.  

To live the life of a cat.  No worries.  No stress.  Just eat, sleep and play. So simple.

In the background I hear Arvid screaming.  Ronaldo just scored for Real Madrid.

Last night as we were coming home I asked Arvid if he thinks of Brutus and if he misses him.

He said, "everyday."  He said he misses Brutus watching the soccer game with him, and
 he misses him sitting on his lap.  I can't deny it.  I miss Brutus so very much.  So much.
We miss Shadow's crazy ways.  He had this special way of bouncing off the furniture
then jumping onto our leg.  Shadow was a biter.  Not hard, just very cute.

Last night we went and listened to music.  This evening we meet with some friends
from Denmark.  Who knows maybe it's time for Kilwins again.  We will be there after all.

When you are joyful, when you say yes to life and have fun and project positivity all around you,
 you become a sun in the center of every constellation, and people want to be near you.
An attitude of positive expectation is the mark of the superior personality...

~Nadiya~

Friday...

In life you have 3 choices.  Give up, give in, or give it your all...

As I have mentioned many times, mornings are my favorite time of the day.  The sunrise.

 The quietness and calmness of being "alone" for just a little before the hectic was

 begins is the best way for me to start the day. I enjoy my coffee on the balcony 

while Arvid is still asleep and I watch the boats go by one by one. 

Very peaceful and I am grateful that I can still find pleasure in it. 

 This morning was no exception. It revitalizes the soul and sure prepares

one for whatever the day holds.  Today so far has been good.

I also love the sunsets.  From our balcony I don't realty see the sun set, but I sure 

see the colors in the sky and yesterday it was pretty amazing to watch. The

 neighbors below us were fishing; not sure I would eat the fish from the Intracoastal,

 but they are from Germany so maybe they do not have all the facts.

Yesterday was a good day until around 6pm when I was sorting through my cosmetics 

and toiletrees.  I came across an empty jar of face cream with a date on it. 

 I like to date my stuff so I know how long I've had it.  

The date on the jar was September 23, 2015. September 26th I came from Chicago

 to Florida to take Brutus with me   I never thought he had less than 2 months to live. 

In that moment it hit me again and for about an hour the tears just kept coming. 

 How I miss Brutus no one may understand. He was my baby and I grief and ache for him. 

 Like I said to Arvid this is so very difficult for me.  Shadow is never far either from my thoughts. 

 I need to buy an urn for his ashes. Too much sadness and I don't think I always cope well.

As far as Friday's go today is looking up.  Yesterday I treated Arvid to PF CHANG'S and

 today he took me to Flanigan's, and who know's maybe some music tonight. Arvid tries 

to keep me occupied. For that I'm always grateful.  I am thankful for Sniffer. He 

brings happiness into our lives.  I may not be able to get over Brutus, but 

I'm grateful that I have the chance to share life with another kitty. 

Shadow mama will always remember your special personality and your fearless 

approach to everything.  You even tried to attack the vacuum cleaner.  You were only with 

us for such a short time. I'm so sorry Shadow. So very sorry. I hope you know that I loved you.

Our lives go on without Brutus and Shadow.  Brutus was with us for 9 years.

  Shadow a little under 4 months.  I loved them both, but my Brutus is the one who left his

 mark on us.  The one whose presence we miss and the one my heart aches for always.

Today Sniffer, Arvid and I make a family.  

It is good.  Many things to be grateful for. Always

Hope everyone has had a good start of the weekend so far.  

Sometimes you just have to make peace with your past in order 

to keep your  future from becoming a constant battle...

~Nadiya~

Tell Yourself..It's Going To Be A Good Day

Life is like a camera.  Focus on what's important. Capture the good times.
  Develop from the negatives, and if things don't work out, take another shot...

How can your day not start out good when this is one of the first sights to greet you

 as you wake up?  For sure it has to be a good day.  Good morning all, and so

 begins a new day for all of us.  As always the new day brings new hopes into our lives.

  Let's take advantage of all that we are offered and let's make the day count.

Waking up to Sniffer crying for his foodies.  A very pleasant sound.  His little "screams" 

for his soft food.  Shadow was the same, the first thing I did every morning was to

give Shadow is chicken.  How he loved it.  Now Sniffer loves canned food.  

More than dry food.  Brutus on the other hand just hated canned food 

all he wanted was dry food.  Dry food is always out.

Brutus was more of a dada's boy.  In order for him to eat, Arvid had to stand by him.
When Brutus was hungry he would go to Arvid and "call" him.   Arvid would
drop whatever he was doing and take Brutus to his foodies.  We really miss
the routines we had with Brutus.  Yes we will have new ones.

Today is going to be a busy day.  Good because it keeps the mind occupied and there
 is less time to spend thinking of what might have been.  Sniffer is a good addition to our family.
 He makes us happy and yes, he makes me play with him almost all day long.  As soon as
 he sees me go into the bedroom, he's already on the bed waiting to be played with.
 Yes, Sniffer only likes to be payed with on the bed.  So far he still has not
 developed more playing habits, but he will learn.  He's still a little kitty.

I miss my Brutus terribly.  I think of shadow and it breaks my heart that he never
had the chance to have a life with us.  We are "grooming" Sniffer to be plane ready.
One day soon we will be going to Chicago, and he will of course go with us.  Brutus was an
excellent traveller.  Arvid was concerned about how Shadow was going to be in the plane.
 Shadow was the "wild" one.  I miss his crazy wild ways.  He was just fearless.  Shadow.

Wishing you all a very good day and may you always live in interesting times.
They say life is an open book full of blank pages.  You write the story as you go.

Greetings from The Sunshine State.  Today I'm in a sunshine state of mind.

Keep smiling and one day life will get tired of upsetting you...

~Nadiya~

New Day...

This new day has greeted us with no rules; unconditional opportunity. 

Do not dilute the power of this new day with the hardship of yesterday. 

Greet this day the way it has greeted you; with open arms and endless possibility...

With every new day there is always the hope and the possibility that life will be better.

I am always positive that this is so.  I am healthy.  We have Sniffer and each other.

Many are not that fortunate to say the same.  As always I am grateful for everything.

Yesterday I finally had to give in and make a call I was putting off for some time.

Brutus never had pet insurance.  For Shadow we chose to get it, but yesterday I had to 

call and cancel it.  I told them Shadow will no longer need it because he died.  He died.

Trust me those 10 minutes on the phone were difficult.  Don't wish it on anyone ever.

To everyone may today be even better than yesterday.  As they say,

Man starts over again everyday, in spite of all he knows, against all he knows.

Each sunrise brings a new day filled with new hopes for a new beginning.

With the new day comes new strengths and new hopes...

~Nadiya~

Hello Tuesday...

Attitude is everything.
Life is full of surprises, so you may as well get used to it...

April 5th. What were the odds that both Brutus and shadow died on the 5th.
Today is 5 months since my Brutus has died. 5 months that and there has not been a
day that I do not miss him and wonder why.  5 months that life changed for me.

 My Brutus, no matter where I go in life, what we do and who we have in it;
you my Brutus will forever remain my baby and the kitty I ache for.

Today also marks one month since little Shadow died. This death has me agonizing
 because of the way he died. I have not been able to take the clothes out of the
 dryer without freaking out.  Yes the dryer terrifies me because I can't stop
feeling the heat when I open it. I just can't stop thinking.  It is always
 so hot.  I feel that heat and my heart screams and screams.

Arvid and I have been keeping ourselves busy.  More like he's been doing his best
 to keep me occupied.  Arvid is so good to me. I never take that for granted, and yes
 I do let him know.  He is always there to hold me and comfort me.

Our Sunday was relaxing and quiet. After dinner we walked to the beach and ended up
in one of our favorite ice cream stores. Kilwins.  Even Arvid eats ice cream there.
  Was a delicious outing one we both like and look forward to soon again.

I also had some time to wander around the beach and let the ocean breeze take me
away to a place far away a place where everything is relaxed, calm and for those
 minutes me and my thoughts had some time to ponder.  Always good.
 Arvid does not like to get sand on his feet.  I love it.  Feels good.

Yesterday we did some boat work.  Funny thing is that when I told my friend from
India what we were doing she replied: Y do U do boat?  Servants or cleaner boys won't do eh?
 Made Arvid and I smile.  Makes you see how different our worlds are.  She is always
upbeat and I always admire her positive attitude towards life.  Thank you PK.

The day is good.  Lots of sunshine.  This morning Sniffer drank water from Arvid's glass.
Always a first time for everything.  Arvid of course thought it was too cute.

 Hoping for a calm day.  Last night was rough for me, but I know that there will be
 days like this.  You take the good with the bad and you make the best of it.
  Always with a positive disposition.  I'm ready to face the day.

To all, keep your face always toward the sunshine,
  and shadows will fall behind you.  Happy Tuesday everyone.

Life is a bowl of cherries. Some cherries are rotten while others are good;  its your job
 to throw out the rotten ones and forget about them while you enjoy eating the ones that are good! 
There are two kinds of people: those who choose to throw out the good cherries
 and wallow in all the rotten ones, and those who choose to throw 
out all the rotten ones and savor all the good ones...

~Nadiya~