Feb 19, 2014

The Day Is Here...

No matter what you're going through, there's a light at the end of the tunnel 
and it may seem hard to get to it but you can do it and just keep working towards 
it and you'll find the positive side of things..

Finally the day for my first surgery has arrive.  For me the toughest part of this whole process
 has been waiting to get it over with.  For Arvid and our families it has been a little more stressful.
  I am confident that everything is going to be OK.  Though they also believe it,  I guess it's
only natural they worry.   If we switched positions I would feel exactly the same.

I woke up at 4am.  Showered.  Took care of Brutus.  Gave him medicines, brushed him
and hugged him a lot.  He just sat and looked at me with those big green eyes as if
trying to tell me how much he loves me and that everything is going to be OK.

The day before I changed out his litter pan.  Washed his water fountain and gave him
all clean linens on his beds and of course ours.  Making sure Arvid has as little to worry
about as possible.  He already is worried about me so don't want him more stressed.

5:30am I go to the hospital and begin my registration and check in for surgery. So far
I have been pretty "brave" about this whole thing, but somehow today I don't feel that
brave. Yes, I have been telling everyone it's just "routine" but the truth is when they open
up your stomach and move things around it can get pretty dicey.  Sine I will be knocked
out, I guess I have nothing to worry about.  I just hope my parents, Arvid and sisters
fare well while I am in surgery.  For them it's most stressful especially as they are
there waiting to hear news.  I felt the same as I waited for Arvid during his surgery.

Again at this moment I call for my blue eyed, golden hair Guardian Angel.
PMR... now you can watch over me as you always promised.  Take care of
my family, Arvid and Brutus.  These are the ones I cherish with all my heart.

Well I have been waiting for almost 3 weeks for this day.  Now it's here.
Leaving home this morning I spent extra time just hugging Brutus.
Don't know if he sensed something different, but he just let me hold him for
the longest time.  He slept very close to me this morning and then it was time
to say goodbye to him.  For now and yes, I became very sad and I cried like a baby.

It's time to go now.  I look at Arvid and it breaks my heart to see him
like this.  he is taking it much harder than I am as are my parents and sisters.

You know I love you all.  To all my nieces and nephews.  Don't ever forget
that I love you all and not having children of my own you have made my life very happy.

Mom and dad, thank you for EVERYTHING and I will see you when I wake up!
My sisters, all I can say is that you are all my best friends and I want to say that
in the good times and bad times I always know where to go and who I can count on.

Nina...you and I faced a lot together.  From Puerto Rico to New York.  Life showed
us that if we want something we have to fight for it and go after it.  Looking
forward to seeing you when I open my eyes.  I love you.

Nirvan... you have showed me through your strength that all is possible.  You are an
encyclopedia of information and your love and support has helped us all during
these stressful times. The things you have gone through and lived is enough
to fill a book with.  I love you and I will see you when I wake up!

Mala.. there is a place in my heart that only belongs to you.  Something about
you that brings out all the tenderness inside of me just making me want to protect
you from everything and everyone in the world.  You are the epitome of quiet strength
and I loved you fiercely as a baby and I never stopped.

Rima..my baby sister.  We shared the same bed as kids.  Well you were a kid and
I was already a teenager.  My sister that never quits and never gives up.  Your love
of life and your sense of humor is contagious and though sometimes I think I'm mad at
you for not picking up your phone, it never lasts.  Babe, be good and call your mom! :)

There is NOTHING I would not do for anyone of you!

Aleah.. I am happy I saw you.  I LOVE you and will see you, your mom and
dad  this summer.  Michelle thank you for coming this December.
I loved every moment spent with you and Aleah.  We both did.

Victoria, I look forward to what's turning out to be a beautiful friendship.

Thank you friends and family for your kindness and concern.
Thank you Anna for always being there.. for the last 21 years.

To the one I love, you better be holding my hand when I wake up!
Forever with you is what I want and what we will have.  I love you
because with you I can be myself and because you bring out the best in me.
You are EVERYTHING I ever wanted or dreamed of having...I'll love you
till the end of the word..my Arvid.  You and Brutus are my world and I'm not going to cry.

In worst case scenario, I become a guardian angel to the ones I cherish and love.
It's time to sign off.  The big moment is just around the corner.

I am  very fortunate to have the family and friend that I have.  To all of you, I say thank you.
Thank you for your thoughtfulness, your kindness, your good wishes and your
prayers.  Through my parents, private messages, good luck cards, phone calls
 and other venues you have all touched me deeply and it is with my most
sincere gratitude that I say thank you.  I know you are all wishing me good luck.
This quote was sent to me by a friend and I will end my blog with it.

This morning may you be infected by the virus of positivity, 
success and good luck. Here is wishing you a very 
happy and memorable day...