A Woman Of Substance...Our Mom

A strong person is not one who doesn't cry.  A strong person is one who 

cries and sheds tears for a moment, then gets up and fights again...

Tuesday was really a stressful day for our family. You see our mom had surgery.  

Not being there with her made it even more stressful.  We had some very tense

 hours while surgery was taking place. Fortunately everything went well. 

She's still in the hospital and will be there until Friday but the worst is over.

  Mom is in a lot of pain, but she never ever complains.  I have never seen anyone 

in my entire life deal with as much pain as she has for so many years and never ever

 complaining.  I sure did not take after her in that sense.  I'm so not tolerant to pain.

Our dad was with her throughout the entire time.  He never left the hospital even 

when there where hours of waiting knowing that he was not going to know anything.

  My mom is his entire world and he hers.  Yes though it was my mom in the hospital 

I was also worried about my dad.  I just wished I was there right now with him to 

give him a big hug and to let him know how much he and my mom are loved.

He spends all day at the hospital from early in the morning until late in the evenings.  

I'm sure the house is extremely quiet without her there.  They have a huge house.  

I think way too big for just the two of them, so I can only imagine how quiet is

 for him.  The nights must be very long.  Very long. I miss them this moment.

As for us five girls we noticed our moms "absence" immediately.  There was a void. 

 We usually text constantly on messenger and yesterday messenger went very 

quiet.  Mommy was not there.  It's always her who keeps us chatting 

away.  Mostly nonsense but nonsense we really missed.

Finally yesterday she was able to do some chatting with us, and as soon as she woke 

up  she called me.  It was the most beautiful sound I heard.  Her voice.  One 

by one she called all five of us.  When she was done I knew she was

exhausted. Even so she never complained.  She never does.

Our lives without her even for a day was too quiet.  Felt empty and we all felt a little 

lost without her.  Just happy she is recovering and will soon be back home with our dad. 

 They belong together now and forever.  For weeks to come she will be in a lot of pain, but 

hopefully it will get better.  There is no one stronger and more courageous than my mom.

To all a very good day.  Today our family is very relieved and much more relaxed than we were

 two days ago.  Our mom is going to do good and will soon be back home with our dad. 

Many may relate to this quote: 

"I am a strong woman because a strong woman raised me."

The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd.

The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before...

~Nadiya~

Taking The Good With The Not So Good...

I'm not adjusting to the situation.  I just go out and play ball.

The pessimist complains about the wind.  The optimist 

expects it to change.  The realist adjusts the sails...

It took some time before Arvid thought it was OK to go outside and fix the light bulb, 

even so the day never really cleared up.  The fog, wetness and the cold persisted 

for most of the day.  Even so, yesterday was one of the "warmer" days.  

"Warm" meant fog, rain, and bleakness.  Guess this is what winter looks like in 

most places.  Not getting used to it and not liking the no sunshine, 

no palm trees to look out and see.  For now it is what it is!

Now I hear about friends travelling to warmer climates and it dawns to me that

 we lived as Victoria would say "in Paradise"  Victoria and Michael will soon be in Florida 

enjoying paradise and as usual visiting another tropical island while there.  One of my

 sisters will be going to Costa Rica, my cousins just came back from Nassau, Paradise Island 

and many of my friends are currently in some other tropical island sipping on drinks 

with umbrella.  What used to be "normal" living for us now seems so distant. 

 For now it is what it is. Life takes us places and we make the most of it.

Mexico... one of our favorite vacation spots.  Hopefully we will go there this year.  

We do after all have a little condo there, and it's a shame to not use it.  Above 

is one of my favorite hangouts there.  Sipping Pina Coladas on the beach.

Another foggy day awaits us here in Branson.  Scenery is the same as it was yesterday.  

Gloomy.  Sniff is loving every minute he spends watching birds, squirrels and leaves

 falling.  I will be having a better time as well because I finally have my own car.

No words are needed.  The pictures speak for themselves.  Bright blue skies, 

sunshine, palm trees = Sunshine State.  Dark, gloomy, fog, well you guessed right.

It's not as if I want to do so much, but it's just knowing I can come and go when I 

please is what makes it so exciting.  Yes, I am thrilled to be able to go places on my own. 

Mainly the grocery store.  I love grocery stores and can't wait to indulge in

 grocery shopping on my own today.  It can take some time.

Another week has already begun.  Let's all make it a great one.

As they say, we can't direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.

Sometimes you have to let go of what's gone, appreciate what remains and look 

forward to what comes next.  Life begins at the end of your comfort zone...

~Nadiya~

It's You...

It took me a really long time to get here, but I'm here, 

Arvid,  you're the one for me.  The shortest word for me is I. The sweetest
 word for me is LOVE. The only one for me is YOU...

When I met Arvid, I never doubted for a moment that he was the one
and that I was going to marry this man.

I don't know if I would call it love at first sight or not, but I knew this was the man
 I was going to spend the rest of my life with.  Something about his smile, the way
 he held my hand and that very cute accent of his and I was already hooked.

After a few months of  being together I said to him, "so when are we going
to get married?" Sure shocked him I guess.  I told him in our family
 either we get married or we go our separate ways.. haha!

We got married...

He was back home in Fort Lauderdale for a few days.  I missed him very much and
 am happy he is back home where he belongs.  Yes, we have grown used to each other
 and one without the other just does not work so well.  Once again it feels like home.
  The thing is home is not just a place, home is where Arvid, Brutus, Shadow,
 Sniff and I are.  Now we are all again together.  We are home.

Sunday at home, relaxing and peaceful.

There's something about you that make's me feel in heaven
 every time when I look into your eye's, I know that you are the one for me...

~Nadiya~

One Of Those Days...

If home is where my heart is,  then I have never

been more homesick and out of place...

On any given Friday we would normally find ourselves walking down to the beach. 

 Listening to music and enjoying one of these delicious drinks.

This has not been the case since November.  Arvid just came back from 

Fort Lauderdale.  Talking about being there, about going back home

 and about missing it has made me homesick.  Yes, right now I am missing 

our home, my surroundings and all things that are familiar.  I'm missing 

my Brutus and my Shadow a little too much and a little too often 

Sniff is such a good kitty.  He kept me company when we were alone and never

 left my side.  At nights he slept close to me and together we kept each other

 warm.  I love little Sniff and I am grateful he came into our lives.

Arvid and I may not be ready, but Sniff is all ready for the icy weather that we are

 expecting.  His foodies arrived yesterday so there is no way he will be going hungry.  

Not a chance. The good thing is that we are all together and that makes it better.

Friday in Branson.  What shall we do?  Oh yeah, it's icy conditions.  It's freezing cold.

It's not the sunshine state.  Yeah we will stay in again.  Same as we did the last few

 Fridays since we have been here.  I am missing the sunshine, the beach, the boats 

passing by from our balcony.  I am missing Florida very much right now.

Happy Friday everyone.  My mom keeps reminding us that spring is not that far away. 

 My mom is always there making us see all the good things in life and makes us realize 

everyday how lucky we all are.  She is absolutely right.  We are fortunate.  We have

 each other and we have the love of a close knot family that makes us stronger. 

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero.  I am strong and wise and I know no fear.

But the truth is plain to see.  She was sent to rescue me.  I see who I want to

 be in my daughters eyes.  Me I see who I want to be in my mother's eyes...

~Nadiya~

Wednesday...

Finding joy in simple pleasures paves the way 
for a peaceful, contented and easy life...

I finally found a place that knows how to do a manicure and pedicure.  I was really 

missing this.  Back home in Florida I had my favorite spot not far from us, and I was a 

regular.  I thought I would never find the right place here in Branson.  Ii tried a few and

 none was "good enough"  Yesterday though I ventured out of my comfort zone and that 

took me to the right place.  Even Sniff had to agree that is was a good choice.

It's been good to have a few days on my own, but now I'm missing Arvid.  As I was

 having my manicure he calls me from Florida to ask me instructions on how to do the

 laundry.  I guess I need to let him do more household chores in the future.

Good morning everyone.  Remember life brings simple pleasures to us everyday.
It is up to us to make them wonderful memories.  Now is a good time to start.

People who delight in simple pleasures and who manage to smile in spite 
of the difficulties they face have the clearest vision of life.  Don't wait for
the perfect moment.  Take the moment and make it perfect....

~Nadiya~

Warmer Days...

Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder,

not imagine, not obsess.  Just breathe and have faith that 

everything will work out for the best...

Getting out yesterday was not as easy as I hoped it would be.  Though the day 

was sunny, I still had to do a grocery store run early in the morning.  Yup! I ran out

 of hot chocolate ingredients.  Can't have that. After all on cold days it is a comfort "food"

I never can drive the car all the way up into the garage.  It's just too steep for me.  The 

problem is not so much driving it up but backing it out.  I am very worried that I might end

 up in the ditch at he bottom of the road.  Florida is flat.  Missouri is winding hills,

 little roads and too many ditches.  I am not afraid of much, but falling into a 

ditch scares me. I like the wide open spaces inn Florida much better.

The car was covered with frost.  Not used to that.  Took me about 10 minutes 

for it to heat up and defrost, but once it was defrosted I had the day to do whatever

 I liked.  Interesting enough, I wished Arvid was there with me.  Still it was good.

As always I talk to everyone I meet.  Almost everyone.  One lady asked me if

 I was a born again Christian.  No idea where that came from.  As I always tell everyone;

 I was born a Hindu.  Baptized a Christian and have a little of each, but do not

 practice either.  My beliefs are mine and I am happy the way I am.

Branson is very religious.  Have nothing against it, but please people do not try to

 convert me.  I am me and nothing anyone can say or do will make me change

 who I am unless I decide to do so.  I like who I am and that's what matters.

Our day is already much better.  We woke up to warmer temperatures.  Today

 we get all the way to 62 degrees F or 17 degrees Celsius.  Very strange weather the 

next few days.  Today and tomorrow we have a warm up then the freeze 

is back.  One's gotta make the most of this.  To all a good day.

Life is like a coin.  You can spend it any way you wish,

 but you can only spend it once.  It's a lifetime offer so use it well...

~Nadiya~

New Week Begins...

It's a new week.  It's a new day.  Means new possibilities...

It's not as if today is a really warm day, but with the sun shining it sure feels like it.

  I was able to go outside without a jacket and enjoy a little of the sunshine; of course I 

took a few of my magazines to catch up on the world of gossip.  Like I really 

need to, but why not?  Today feels like a girl's day and part of that means 

magazines to pass some of the time.  After that who knows?

Yesterday I thought I was going to do so many things, but after cleaning I was so 

tired I decided to just stay home with Sniff catch up on some reading and have 

as much hot chocolate as I wanted.  No guilt at all.  Was good to just 

do nothing and not have to go to Home Depot for a change.

Today I spend the day with my babies.  Going through memory lane for a little.

Most of our memories are with Brutus, but when I see a picture of Shadow

 I can't but help smiling.  He was a little rascal and he sure was fast.

  I think of him and I smile and at the same time I am so angry.

As the new week begins, I wish you all a very productive start. Hopefully

 no snow in our forecast.  Though it is pretty and all, it sure makes for hazardous 

driving especially when one has no winter tires.  I may have the car all to myself 

right now, but it does not do me too much good if the roads are all icy. Hmm..

The other day as I was chatting with a lady she said to me, "honey, only 

in Missouri you will see 4 different seasons in one day."  Somehow I think she 

may be right because the other day I saw, frost on the plants, sunny 

warm temperatures and a pink sunset.  All in the same day.

My favorite site is seeing Sniff Sniff sleeping next to me as I work.  Makes for 

a perfect day.  Monday, new start.  New beginning.  New perspective.  Make today count.

What you tell yourself everyday will either lift you up or tear you down.

May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short...

~Nadiya~

Feeling Good...

You may not control all the events that happen to you, 

but you can decide not to be reduced by them...

Looking forward very much to the next few days.  I will be having access 

to the car and will be able to go to all the places I want to and to discover a few

 more by myself.  Yes, I am going to be very busy in the next 3 days.  Can't wait!!

Being without my own car is like being a prisoner in many ways.  I have to go and 

do "chores"  errands all the time with Arvid and whenever we have tie to do something I 

enjoy it's always rushed.  That being the case I usually prefer to not do anything.

Suddenly I feel free as a bird and I am liking it very much.  The question I

 ask myself is "what shall I do today?" and the answer is, "whatever pleases me." 

 I like that answer very much.  Makes for a few very interesting days ahead.

Hello everyone.  Hope your day is as spectacular as I plan to make mine.

The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be..

~Nadiya~

They Said It Never Gets This Cold...They Lied

Antarctica called.  They want their weather back...

They said it rarely snowed here in Branson.  Guess "they" were wrong.

Though not a lot, it becomes ice way too fast.  Again I fell straight on my butt.

They said that the worst is yet to come, but being an optimist I want to

 think that "they" are wrong.  That is until a "friend" showed me these 

pictures taken last year in March.  Then I got really worried.

I'm not used to the cold anymore and the last few days have been extremely cold.

 The roads are iced and driving is extremely dangerous.  I am definitely 

not liking it right now.  Very hazardous to my health if I may say so.

Now I understand when people ask: "you know what's my favorite
 thing about winter?"  And the answer, "when it's over."

To all a very good day.  Always remember to smile and let everyone
know that today,  you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday.

Right now  have to agree with the person who said, "It's so cold, I'm shaking as bad
 as a couple of jelly donuts a Weight Watchers meeting.  Good morning all and stay warm.

The journey is not without risks but the discovery is its own reward...

~Nadiya~

To A Better 2017..Let's Do It

Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude

 is going to determine how you live your life...

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: to rise above the 
little things.  I posted some of this blog January 1st 2015.  At that time we had 
no indication that our Brutus would not see another New Year with us.  

2014 was be a year to remember for us.  Like everything the year had it's up and
downs.  It was in 2014 I was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer, but now that I
 look back I realize how lucky I have been compared to so many others.



My cancer was treatable and even though I am on medication for life, have gained
 weight, an sometimes irritable and a few other things, many have not been
 so lucky.  I at least wake up every morning and can enjoy the new day.

2014 our Brutus was alive and even though both Arvid and I had a few
medical issues to deal with we had our Brutus.  That made it all good.  I never,
ever for the life of me thought that he was going to die in less than a year.

2015 was supposed to be a good year for us, but Brutus took a turn for the worse
and we had finally agreed to do the amputation of his leg.  I look back now and I can't
 help but second guess myself.  I will always wonder if that was the reason he died.
  Maybe his body was not able to handle the stress it underwent.  My heart
 will never be at peace because I will never know what went wrong.

Brutus was my baby and even though Shadow came into our lives and then Sniff, 

I only have one baby and that's my Brutus.  I love Sniff and I loved Shadow, but my Brutus

took my heart with him.  2017 is here already and I know it will be better.  It has to.

Like I have said before,  today is the first blank page of a 365 page book.  

Write a good one and may 2017 be a year to remember.  For last year's words belong

 to last year's language and next year's words await another voice.

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right...

~Nadiya~

Missing You...

It is hard to forget, when there is such an empty space now that 

you are gone.  It's just not the same without yo anymore...

Today makes 1 year and exactly 2 months since I last held my Brutus.  To this day my 

heart aches for him and misses him like crazy.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of him 

and wish he were here again.  Brutus, my one and only baby.  Now and forever.

There is nothing I can do to change what happened.  To this day I don't fully 

understand why my Brutus died.  If I could turn back the clock I ask myself what would

 I have done differently?  I don't know.  My Brutus was hurting and I was giving him 

pills after pills.  Maybe not wanting to acknowledge how much he was hurting.

  My heart will never be the same again.  I will never be the same again.

Today also is 10 months since our little Shadow died.  This I will never be able to forgive.

  He was just 4 months old.  Little Shadow never had the chance to grow up.  That

 day Shadow died I also lost my friend.  Maybe one day it will be better, 

not today.  My heart does not know how to stop hurting as yet.  

Yes, I have many good days thanks to little Sniff.  He is our little ray of sunshine. 

 We love him and he fills our life with excitement, laughter and fun. That 

being said, when Brutus died a part of my heart died as well.  

I miss him everyday. Some days more than others.  

It's been a long time without Brutus and Shadow,  Arvid rarely will talk about them

 but every so often he would tell me how much he misses Brutus.  Sometimes late at 

nights as we lay down to sleep Arvid would say, "you know today I thought a lot about Brutus. 

 He was our special boysie."  Then he would say, "do you think that Sniff knows we don't

 have the same bond with him as we did with Brutus?"  Maybe he does, but one thing

 is for sure, Sniff does not lack love nor attention.  He has that in spades from us.

Most days life goes on as usual.  There is nothing one can do about that.  You either 

keep moving otherwise you will most likely be trampled on.  Yes, life goes on, but in a 

little place in my heart there is and ache and grief for the loss of our Brutus that nothing

 nor no one will ever be able to erase.  He was more than a cat for us.  He was our baby.

Life goes on, but a part of me is missing and I have learned that no matter how

badly your heart is broken, the world does not stop for your grief.

Love and heartache do not define you.  They are a part of your story...

~Nadiya~

Day 4 Of 2017...

Create the life you can't wait to wake up to.

I will either find a way or make one...

Everything is brown.  This morning it is foggy and looks bleak outside.  Winter is really

 showing it's face here.  Though it has been "warmer" than usual these last few days, 

I still find it at times way too cold and not seeing the sunshine in so long sometimes

 gets to me.  Always nice and warm indoors, but one can't stay in forever.

I spent some time checking hing out a few of the sights and things to do in town.

There is quite a lot, but as of right now most of the attractions are closed for the winter. 

 Many reopen in middle of March.  Branson is definitely a seasonal place attracting 

millions in the summertime.  Not all is to my liking, but people seem to go crazy 

about the shows (not my style) and all the arts, crafts and quilts stores.  

There is something for everyone.  Give me city life PLEASE!!!!

Good morning everyone.  Remind yourself everyday to wake up with

determination and to go to bed with satisfaction.  I try to do so as 

much as possible, and hope to do it more and more everyday.

The temperature has begun to drop once again. (19F  or -7C)  It,s going to get really really
cold the next few days.  Not like it was actually warm, nut at least it was not below
 freezing.  Snow and ice in the forecast.  Not liking it one bit.  Guess all we have to
do is have hot chocolate, Arvid catch up on some more games and hopefully no
 trip to Home Depot for anything.  We have stocked up on salt for the
 driveway so I think we are covered.  Sniff also has lots of foodies.

You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.
The soul always knows what to do to heal itself.  The challenge is to silence the mind...

~Nadiya~

2017..Let's Do It!!!

Here's to the bright New Year, and a fond farewell to the old; 

here's to the things that are yet to come, and to the memories that we hold...

 2017 has already begun. We have the rest of the year to make this an amazing one
 and to steer our lives hopefully in the direction we want it to go.  Not always
 the easiest of things, but always worth the effort of trying.  If we don't try we will 
never know what we can accomplish.  So here's to giving 2017 our best shot!

Cheers to everyone....Let us not drink to the past,

 but to the future.  HAPPY NEW YEAR'S ALL:)

Now, as we close one chapter, the pen is gradually inking up, preparing itself

 to write the next.  Starting over is an acceptance of a past we can’t change, 

an unrelenting conviction that the future can be different, and the stubborn

 wisdom to use the past to make the future what the past was not...

~Nadiya~

And So Begins 2017...(jan 1st)

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Today is the first blank page of a 365 page book.  Write a good one..

2017.  All I can say and hope for is that it is better than 2016.  2016 was not

 the best of years for us, but as Rima says, 2017 is the year of the Monkey. 

 Definitely has to be better.  For all of us.  Happy New Year everyone.  

As I keep reminding myself daily, there is always something to be thankful 

for and grateful for.  Ask yourself, what are you grateful for today?

Many changes has happened in our lives.  Not all good, but at the same time lots of

 positive things as well.  We took a leap into something new and here we are in Branson, 

Missouri experiencing a change we both longed for.  It's different, but still good.

My heart can never and will never be able to get over my Brutus nor Shadow, but 

I hope that it gets a little easier.  Honestly I am doing the best I can, but

 there are days when everything just comes crashing down on me and 

for a while I am back to grieving.  It definitely comes in waves.  

I can't forget, but I am always trying to be positive and to focus on what has to

 be done. I hope this year is going to be much better for us, that I don't always carry 

sadness in my heart and that no matter what, I never take for granted Arvid and

 all the goodness we have together.  The possibilities sure are endless.

  And now we welcome the new year.  Full of things that have never been.

May 2017 be the year that we have all been waiting for.  Cheers to all!!!

Although no one can go back and make a brand new start,

anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

This is the beginning of anything you want...

~Nadiya~