Jul 10, 2020

Friday Hits Differently ~ July 10th

Grief never ends...But it changes.  It's a passage,
not a place to stay.  Grief is not a sign of weakness,
nor a lack of faith...It is the price of LOVE...

That not so good feeling lingers on.
  My thoughts are elsewhere 💔

I have lost a loved one.  At the time, I thought I would
never see the light of day again 💔.  I never listened
when people said to me, "one day it will be better."
I did not believe any of it.  The loss consumed me.

I mean how would anyone know what it's
like to lose someone you love, if they have never
 lived through something like that?  One can only
imagine what it's like, but no one knows what
grief is unless you have experienced it 💔

I lost my first husband 27 years ago.  The first 5
years after his death is still hazy.  I lived with
grief every single moment of my life.  I never
thought the day would come when that dark
cloud that followed me would be gone.

Eventually one day I was happy again, I
 have to say every once in a while that grief
 reappears in my life like a bad apple.

Then one day Brutus died.  Once again I was
overcome with grief.  The pain of losing Brutus
is still there.  Not as agonizing, but every so often it
 creeps up on me.  Then the grief of the two losses
blends together.  Makes for a pretty good cry.

All I'm getting at is that everyone navigates their
grief in their own ways.  Everyone deals with it in their
own way.  There is no set rules on how grief works.
 You can be having the best of days and suddenly, just
a smell can throw you off and set you back.  The
good thing is that it does not last very long.

Michelle has lost two parents in less than 2 years.
  That is an overload of loss.  When she most needed her
mom, her mom died.  As a mom herself to two little girls,
Michelle never expected her mom nor her stepdad to not
be a part of their lives.  Michelle's stepdad lived for them.

Now they are both dead.  How cruel can life be to
Michelle and family?  And why?  People say there is
 a GOD, when Paul died, when Brutus died and
when Shadow died, Michelle's mom and stepdad
died WHERE WAS GOD??? Where I ask?

Yes, I'm angry, and every time a loved one experiences
 a loss, unfortunately I relive the losses I have had
 vividly.  I have a picture perfect memory for
certain things.  Not always to my advantage.

Getting through the loss of a loved one takes
 time and everyone's journey to healing is unique,
everyone is different and sometimes the journey can
seem more than we can bear.  Many times it is.

 When this happens, we should remember to be
 grateful for the time we spent with our loved ones
 and try to believe that they are in a better place.

Sometimes all you can do is lie in bed 
and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart...