Jun 6, 2014

Sleepless Nights...

For there is nothing quite so terror-inducing as the loss of sleep. 
It creates phantoms and doubts, causes one to questions one's own
 abilities and judgement, and, over time, dismantles, from within, the body...

1am and Brutus is crying his soul out.  It's heart wrenching and the worst is I have to yell at him
 to stop because I fear he will also do harm to his paw trying to claw his way into the bedroom
 by going under the door.  As you can imagine another sleepless night.  The first night he 
did the same.  He would claw and cry with a passion for approximately half hour, a very
 long half hour; then take a break for about an hour and just pick up where he left. 

I am already exhausted not only from sleepless nights, but from the stress of hearing him
and not being able to comfort him.  Also already fed up of being "prisoner" in my own 
bedroom.  I know it is only for one more day and then things are back to "normal."

3am just have had a few moments of sleep so far.  Waiting to get out of bed and go out
 for a little.  Going out as possible in the living room.  I still have to cater to Brutus,
from far  of course. Clean his litter and make sure he has enough food and water.
 For of this I do wear gloves and make sure he is not close to me.
Once I'm out of the bedroom, Brutus is calm and he sleeps.

Can't do this anymore.  Decided to switch rooms with Brutus.  He can have the bedroom
and I the recliner sofa in the living room.  Spent a few hours "sanitizing" the bedroom.
From that moment on we were both happy.  He no longer needed to go into the bedroom,
now that the door was open; he did not cry anymore and we both got some sleep.

If he tries to get close to me I turn  on the vacuum cleaner; that scares him away
and makes me feel even more horrible than I already am feeling.  Yes, I'm scaring my 
own baby away from me by turning on what he hates mot.  The dreaded vacuum cleaner.

Last day and night of this isolation.  Both Brutus and I will be happy.
Also the last day of being on the low iodine diet.  Definitely looking forward to coffee
with cream and some good food.  It's been a long haul and I am very hungry, tired
and in need of sleep.  Worst of all I think Brutus has injured the paw trying to claw his way
under the door.  I can deal with everything, but not so good with Brutus being hurt and not having
a clue as to what to do to make him better.  I really thought better days were here for him.

To all have a good day.  It is Friday after all.  For me it's the last
day of isolation.  Can't tell you how happy I am.  I have had better days.
For now all I am wishing is for Brutus to be OK.
 As they say, I'm hoping for better days!

Accepting reality yet hoping for great days to come 
is a necessity to keep on going forward and believing in You...