Jul 5, 2016

8 Months For Brutus ~ 4 Months For Shadow ~ Almost 4 For Sniffer ~

If I could plant a flower for every time I miss you, 
I could walk through my garden forever...

It's just a "normal" "regular" day.  For me it's 8 months since my Brutus died.  Four
 months since Little Shadow died and in 2 days it will be 4 months since we have had Sniffer.  
What can I say?  Sadness is part of what I go through often, then we see Sniffer and wonder.

Arvid and I looked at Sniff sound asleep on the bed right now and the exact same thought 
went through our minds.  Though voiced so many times, hearing Arvid say it again just 
made me cry. He said, "do you think Brutus came back to us in the form of Sniffer?"

I believe he has.  I believe part of Brutus is in Sniffer.  A big part.  Whenever I am sad
Sniff comes running to me and cries.  Last night on the bed as I sat thinking of Brutus, and
Shadow I was sad, so very sad.  Seeing Sniff come running to me and curling up to me
was enough to calm me.  I never want Sniff to see me sad.  He knows and it affects
his moods as well.  For the last 2 days Sniff Sniff has been quiet and withdrawn.
 Could it be he knows how I feel?  I think so, and I don't want him to.

I am strong, but sometimes even the strongest of persons have weak moments.  Brutus is
my weakness and until that day, I guess i will be missing him forever.  My little Shadow never
had a chance to grow up; for that I am angry and sometimes I feel like hitting someone.

 Someone I trusted and called my friend.  Not only did I lose Shadow in this tragedy, but I
 think I also lost a very good friend.  Maybe one day when I am less angry...who knows.

Hope you all have a good day-week ahead.  Remember never judge a person unless
 you have walked in their shoes.  Things are not always what the seem.

Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water
 is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming.  All we can do is learn to swim..