May 13, 2015


Life is not the way it's supposed to be.  It's the way it is.
The way you cope with it is what makes all the difference...

If someone would have told me a year ago that I would be experiencing mood changes, I
 would have just looked at them and laugh it off.  I don't usually have mood swings. That 
is I did not use to have mood swings, but since the removal of my thyroids nothing
 is certain anymore as far as my moods go.  Now I never know when it will strike.

For the last few days I have been again experiencing some not so good moments.  I am 
feeling extremely upset, short tempered and angry for no reason at all.  It not as if Arvid is 
doing anything different than usual, but it seems that just about everything is getting to my nerves.

I see this happening.  It is as if I am looking at another person acting all "mean" and
I don't know exactly how to stop it.  Yes, life is not exactly how it was before I 
developed thyroid cancer.  There are days when I just don't feel like doing anything. 
 I feel just bummed and it feels as if I would cry all day long.  

I also feel fat, fat, fat! even when I am trying very hard to lose the weight, it seems it is
 just not going anywhere.  I do everything that needs to be done, but I can tell that
 right now I am really not the most pleasant of persons to be around and Arvid 
is not a patient man.  I sometimes don't think he understands that 
even though I don't want to be crabby I sometimes can't
 seem to control it.  No matter how hard I try.

Not all days are like this, but it seems when it happens it is bad.  I want to control my 
moods, but everything just seems to bother me.  Everyone says I need to regulate my 
medication better.  My doctor seems to think it is just a phase of getting older.  He has to go.

To cheer me up a bit I went to the movies yesterday.  All alone.  I saw The Avengers.
Not sure it was a great movie, but I was entertained and the 3D special effects were superb.

This morning my girlfriend Liliana and I went for a walk to the beach and then
to breakfast.  As usual time spent with her is always relaxing and fun.
We ended up at the candy store and went a little too crazy.  Happy.

Combined with some work my day so far is going pretty good.  I am "working" 
on my mood swings and trying very hard to steer it into another direction. 

Luckily there is Brutus who always brings a smile to my face.  
Nothing Brutus does can make me upset.

To all of you, a good day.  Sometime we have to try a little harder to get there.

Life is as it is, we take it to be hard or easy.
It's all about our perception, attitude and level of gratitude...