Dec 5, 2016

Missing You...

The heart remembers most what it has loved best.
Someone asked if I missed you.. I didn’t answer.  I just closed my 
eyes and walked away.  Then I whispered “so much”...

It's been one year and one month since our Brutus has died.  Our lives changed that day. 
It changed so much to the point where both Arvid and I wanted a change in scenery.  
This change brought us to Missouri.  Away from all that is familiar.  

Away from all the things that breaks my heart, but you know what?  I was just kidding
 myself thinking that distance from the familiar will ease the heartache.  Distance
 has in many ways made me think of other things a little more.  That's true.

  We are getting used to a new place.  Getting used to living in a house instead of a 
condo for now, but distance has not erased the fact that my Brutus is no longer with 
us.  If I could go back and change anything it would be to bring Brutus back.  

I miss him so very much.  My heart knows he is never coming back, but my heart does 
not know how to stop hurting.  They say the heart remembers most what it has 
loved best.  Not a day goes by that my heart does not remember my Brutus.

Our Shadow has also been dead for 9 months today.  He was only a baby.  For him I
 agonize every time I think of what happened.  For me a change was necessary.
  But this change is rather drastic and no matter the distance between 
what's familiar and what's not my heart never stops asking why.  

We fell in love with Brutus from the minute we saw him.

Brutus, it took me only a few moments to fall in love with you, but it's taking me
 forever to move on.  Mama misses her Brutus and her Shadow so very much
The heart remembers most what it has loved best.
You are  part of my life that will never come back but existed 
and will continue to exist and live on in my heart...