Nov 18, 2021

πŸ’” In My Heart There Stirs A Quiet Pain πŸ’”

 πŸ’” Only from the heart can you touch the sky. 
 Somethings cannot be fixed. They can only be carried .  
Little by little we let go of loss but never of love πŸ’”

I have wanted to come back home. Now I am
 home and the weirdest thing is that my thoughts are in 
Puerto Rico. I can’t stop thinking of my kitties. 

It’s breaking my heart to know that they are 
there waiting for me and I am not there. I hope one 
day this guilt I have will be less. I wanted to do 
something good, but now looking back I am 
wondering if I actually made it worse. 

I take some comfort in knowing that Mama, 
ShyGirl, Baby and my little Marbles will
 not get pregnant.  I feel good about that.

I hope they find food to eat and that they are
 doing good. I tell myself that they did it before I 
showed up so they will do not again. You (me)
tell yourself things so you can feel better πŸ’”

I spend my days trying to stay busy. Going
 here and there, but every chance I get my mind 
wanders back to them and my heart breaks.  I
 tell myself it will get better. Time has a way.

I do really good during the day except for those times
 I see the time and then I remember.  Nights have not been
 the easiest.  It's quiet and most of the times Arvid watches car 
shows and such, which does not keep my interest.  Then I 
have so much time to think.  Not the best right now.

And in my heart there stirs a quiet painπŸ’”...